할머니와 손자녀들 PART 1 My First Grandson, George 박옥종 Lilian Chung > 글동네

         Grandma and Grandchildren

   PART 1 My First Grandson, George

On the evening of January 24, 1970, I went out to the street with my daughter-in law, Lucy, because she began to feel labor pains.  I hailed down a taxi and we hurriedly went directly to the hospital.

Lucy went to the delivery room and I anxiously waited in the waiting room.  Five or six to-be grandmothers were there. The sharing of memories, along with the anticipation of the new births, filled the room with delight, like the fragrance of fresh flowers.

"This time we must have a boy..."

"Since we have a boy, we don't care - a boy or a girl."

Grandmothers enthusiastically expressed their opinions but I kept silent, just smiling.

“What about you?" Someone asked.  I answered, "This is the first child, and I thank God regardless of whether it is a boy or a girl.  My desire is only for an easy birth and a healthy baby."

            That night, I couldn’t sleep due to the excitement about the baby.  It was almost light outside so I went back home to prepare breakfast.  I hurried back to the hospital to find that Lucy had already given birth.  As I peered through the window of the nursery, I met my grandson for the first time.  The small, red-faced, baby boy was kicking and crying.  Weighing 2.8 kg, he was the smallest baby in the nursery.

Seeing this small life, my heart was filled with deep gratitude and emotion.  Twenty years of pain had passed in my life and God had allowed me the honor of seeing my grandson.  In those days, it was extremely painful for me to lift any objects.  My chest and arms would feel weak and heavy, but that night a miracle happened;  I held my grandson in my arms without any pain!  Coming out of the hospital and holding my grandson, I felt honored as Naomi did in the Bible (Ruth 4:16).

Indeed, George was his grandmother’s crown.  I had lost my husband when I was 25 years old and had lived a life of sorrow as a widow.  But after George was born, I was given the honor of becoming "George's grandmother."  To me, this meant that the years of sorrow were over.  George was the prelude of promising days to come.

I was a private tutor for the children of three families.  I left home in the afternoon and visited those three houses.  I was very tired when I finished and returned back home at night.  Almost every night, I had an earache or a headache.  I had to walk quite a long way, but when I would come home and see George’s sweet, innocent face, I was no longer tired or fatigued.  Holding the cloth diaper and looking at his face, I experienced God's healing.  Changing the diapers during the night, I felt life was worth living.  Holding George in my arms, I was filled with joy and gratitude.  George was a child sent from God to heal me.

“Farewell, Grandchildren”

The day when George and Susan departed from Korea (May 14, 1973)

At Kimpo Airport

George, wearing a blue suit jacket that she made for him,

Waved his little hand to her.

Little Susan

Didn't know anything and just went in.

Her daughter-in-law’s mother freely shed farewell tears.

But Grandma, with her own heavy and aching heart,

Swallowed back the thrusting sob in her throat,

And just smiled.

For the dear loved ones who were leaving,

She swallowed a sob.

After losing her husband,

Just hearing the word separation

Filled her heart with a palpable and panicked despair.

But she willfully pressed down the tears

And silently called out to the Lord –

She wanted to make the departing people happy.

“Grandma, why are you so impatient?"

            When I was living in my son's house in Battle Creek, Michigan, my first grandson George was a student at the elementary school.  One day, I went into my grandson's room and I saw crude pictures on the wall. 

“Maybe such things will harm his mind,” I thought.  Without hesitation, I took them all down and I hung up two pictures: one was a picture of Jesus and the other a picture of a snowy, countryside scene.  Now I saw that the room appeared clean and restored and I felt good.

That night, my son and daughter-in-law came to me.  "Mother, why did you do that? George is very sad.  He is crying and saying that he doesn't have his own room.  We asked, ‘Isn’t this your room?’ He said, ‘Why do others come into my room and do as they like?’  Mother, would you please apologize to him?  Maybe you wanted to correct him, but you should have asked his permission first."

When I was raising my children, my word was law.  When mother said, "No," they submitted without hesitation.  But to my grandson, these were rules from an older generation. 

            I thought about it again.  Yes, those pictures should have been thrown away, but it was my mistake that I did not speak to George first.  I had raised George until he came to America and he was very special to me.  I always felt a close bond with George and I thought that I could correct him like that. 

George still had not come out of his room.  I decided to apologize to him.  George was sobbing, wrapped inside the blanket on his bed.  I went to him and said, "I am sorry, George, that I did not ask you first."

Soon he replied, "Grandma, I am sorry too."  What a good and gentle character he has.  After that, we were the loving grandma and grandson again and he never put such odd pictures on the wall of his room.  

“Trees of June”

In June I see a teenage boy

In June I see a bright verdant young man in his twenties.

Full of beauty, intelligence, courage and energy, 

The young generations grow up like green trees

Under the propitious and radiant sun,

Under the lazy and leisurely clouds,

With fresh leaves waving like flags

Living faithfully today,

Dreaming of the better life tomorrow.

Daily gaining wisdom from the fountain of wisdom

Possessing real life, living brilliant lives

Through the open windows breathing the air of Heaven

Drinking living water from the sea of forgiving generosity

Receiving the light coming from Heaven,

Experiencing perpetual rejuvenation to live a renewed life

Vividly green with more brilliance and with refined fragrance –

Young men!  Be the "Repairer of the breach"(Isaiah 58:12) in this world.

The Lord will abide in you, strengthen and help you.

The Lord's love, fully ripened in you, will complete your character -

How beautiful!

“Prayer for George”

Lord, when this new life was born into our family,

You know how elated we were.

All night I waited for him in the hospital and I did not feel tired.

Among all the babies born at that time,

He was the smallest baby in the hospital.

He was just a naked little life, not attractive to see.

However, when I saw him through the window,

Kicking with his little body, red-faced and crying,

My heart melted, my soul captivated by this little life.

Before coming out of the hospital

He was named Shin-Heng.

That name contains my wish.

It means, “To live a faithful life for the Lord.”

It is a proper name and You gave it to him.

He grew wiser as he grew up.

He liked listening to stories.  He liked to listen to them over and over again.

He tried to practice the right things when he understood them.

He had a tenacious will to live by principles.

Sometimes he would ask for the impossible.

But, he also knew how to discern good from bad.

Healthy, strong, warm-hearted, and ambitious,

I saw he was given these gifts by God.

Loving Lord!

George is now 15, soon to be 16.

I know he is in an important period of his life.

You know this better than I.

Now he is struggling

In this fierce battle with himself.

Please help him to win.

You know how strongly Satan attacks him to steal his heart.

Everyday, he falls down and rises up, falls down and rises up again.

In this bloody battle, please encourage and help him.

Let the promise of Isaiah 49:25

Be fulfilled in him and save him.

Please have him turn away from

Everything that leads to disappointment.

Help him look up only to You

Because You are the only hope.

Help him to live according to the meaning of his name

Following Your way faithfully.

And according to the promise of Ezekiel 36:26, 27

Please transform him into Your character.

According to 2 Corinthian 5:17 allow him to become a new creation.

I believe You fulfill Your unchanging words.

I believe You will answer all these prayers.

I believe You will fill him with Your unlimited blessings.

I praise You. Amen.

“Aug, 20, 1990”

Grandma,

How are you doing?  I am having a wonderful time in Hawaii.  Hawaii is a really beautiful place.  We snorkeled and saw a lot of pretty fish.  We also met the son of your friend, Pastor Kim.  He is a very kind person.  I miss you so much.  I will write you in Korea, too.

                       Your loving grandson,

                       George

* During college, he went to the Korean Language Institute as a missionary.  On the way to Korea, he had a training course in Hawaii.  He wrote me on a beautiful post card of Diamond Head, with a beautiful sky and a sea of jade green.

“July, 1993”

My Dear grandson George,

This morning, I read "The Desire of Ages" Ch. 31 and I was very touched by the following passage:

"If therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.  But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness"(MATTHEW 6 : 22, 23).  Purity and steadfastness of purpose are the conditions of receiving light from God.  He who desired to know the truth must be willing to accept all that it reveals.  He can make no compromise with error.  To be wavering and halfhearted in allegiance to truth is to choose the darkness of error and Satanic delusion.  Worldly policy and undeviating principles of righteousness do not blend into each other imperceptibly, like the colors of the rainbow.  Between the two a broad, clear line is drown by the eternal God.  The likeness of Christ stands out as distinct from that of Satan as midday in contrast with midnight.  And only those who live the life of Christ are His co-workers.  If one sin is cherished in the soul, or one wrong practice retained in the life, the whole being is contaminated.  The man becomes an instrument of unrighteousness.”

Dear George, my conscience was pricked by this message. By what we see, what we hear, what we eat and in everything we do, we are called as God's people, but are we compromising with the world and showing no difference from the world?  Truly, we need to reform.  We need to reflect God's character through what we see, hear, wear, eat and speak and surrender our whole being to God.  As God's children, who are going to live in heaven where the light is seven times brighter than the sun, we have to take off the work of darkness.

Dear George, you graduated from high school as a model student and from the University as a top student.  And now you are studying in medical school in preparation to be a worker of God.  Also, you are the youth leader at the big Loma Linda church, and as the eldest son in the family, your role and position are so important. The kind of person you are is so influential to all of your family, the church youth and to your classmates.

Dear George, I pray that you will be a Spirit-filled person, so that through you, your church and your school will be filled with the Holy Spirit.  There is no guile in God's promise, so I believe that He will make it possible.  "Ask and it shall be given to you" (Matt. 7:7).  "Therefore I say unto you, whatever you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them" (Mark 11:24).  "How much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?" (Luke 11:13). 

I claim these promises and pray for you, and I hope you pray, too.  Come closer to the Word and study it, pray without ceasing and dedicate your heart to God. The day of the Lord is near, so look forward to seeing Him and walk in the light of the Lord.  Don't compromise with the world and don't be led by the world.  Overcome darkness with light and be a fisherman to save men who are flowing away by the waves of the world.  Fix your eyes on Jesus and go forward.  "Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith"(Hebrews 12:2)

Dear loving George, "The Lord will help you" (Isaiah 41:10).  Give your hand to the Lord's hand and follow His guidance.  May you be filled with the grace of the Lord.

Love,

Grandma

“Feb. 19, 1994”

We came back home from church, prepared lunch and waited for George, but he didn't come down.  I called him again and he said, “Yes, I am coming soon."  But he didn't come down.  I started eating with Abe.  When Abe finished eating, George finally came down.  I put some rice on his plate and sat down again and George said, "Grandma, I prayed and decided to dedicate my life wholly to God."

On the way back home from church, I had told him, "Grandma won't live much longer.  I have a pain in my heart.  I don't worry for my life.  I don't care about death, but I have something left to accomplish.”  George had asked, "Grandma, what is it that you have not finished?"  I had replied, "I have something to write."

            I don't know exactly what George was doing in his room, but I was very glad to hear what he had to say.  He told me that he had not devoted his life fully to God, but that he wished to do so.  I praise the work of the Holy Spirit and give thanks to Him.  I fasted in prayer from last evening until this morning.  The Lord heard my prayer and answered it and I praise Him.

George said, "Grandma, I will translate your poems.  Everyday, one poem." 

In the afternoon, I chose a poem titled "Waiting" and gave it to him.

Waiting

Longing heart

Tinged scarlet by autumn leaves –

And yet the Lord has not come.

Whenever I open the words of love

My eyes fill with tears –

And yet the Lord has not come.

Seeking the first streak of daylight in dawn’s eastern sky

Yearning for the glorious day in the sunset’s western glow

The day draws to a close.

A winter of white snowflakes fluttering in the wind

My yearning heart stirs in anticipation –

Will you come like the spring breeze, reviving all creation?

The Lord is ever faithful and will keep His promise

Even though I know not the exact day or hour

I will live another day preparing for His Coming.

The two grandchildren were practicing worship songs in the garage but soon it was silent.  Their friend, Todd, came over.  I found that they were not in the garage and told Todd that I didn't know where they went.  He said, "Maybe they went to the nursing home."

After awhile, my grandchildren came back.  I asked Todd to eat with us.  After we finished worship, there was a knock on the door.  George opened the door and two students came in.  Abe closed the worship with prayer and he introduced the two students. They were the son and daughter of Dr. Yoo.  After talking for a while, Abe left with his friends.

George stayed home and accompanied me to visit some friends.  George drove slowly so that I could make out the apartment numbers.  They were very glad to see us and served us Korean tea.  Listening to one of the mother's touching stories, I wanted to stay longer.  About 8:35 p.m., we said goodbye and came back home.  I learned a lot this evening from the mother.  Even after 90 years, she was filled with wisdom and the Holy Spirit.  She was living her life to give glory to God.  Her daughter was performing her family duty toward her mother with sincerity and it also touched me. She spoke with such gratitude and praise.  I felt that she was a living testimony of Jesus.

This evening, with George's help, I had a wonderful time visiting my friends.

God's grace is really limitless.        

“Mar. 3, 1994”

"I want to transfer to another school.  The tuition is too expensive."  When George said this, I was surprised.  After talking with me he calmed down and opened his heart. 

Students who came with their parents finished registering quickly.  But George had to wait for more than one hour because he was by himself.  My heart melted with compassion.

George went upstairs and I followed him, "George, I will give you one hundred dollars every month."

"Grandma, I can’t take your money."

"Yes, you can.  I help others and it makes me happy to help my grandson.  Please accept it."  I put my check in George's hand.

            How carel