할머니와 손자녀들! PART 2 My Granddaughter Susan-박옥종 Lilian Chung > 글동네

          할머니와 손자녀들

    Grandma and Grandchildren

  Part 2  My Granddaughter Susan

“A Prayer for Grandchildren” Jan.24, 1996

Hear, O Lord, and answer me.

Walking along the snowy way in the early morning –

Lord, great is Your mercy and compassion.

Save them and let them live in the kingdom of the Lord.

Snowflakes falling down quietly like dancers –

My desire burns like an unquenchable flame.

Even though it is buried in the winter snow,

The seed of earnest desire sprouts each spring.

Let "Zeal for the Lord" be their only aim

"To meet the Lord" their only desire.

The day when the Lord comes again, we will join hand in hand

In rapture we will meet Him.  How blessed the day!

“Impression on my writing being selected”

When I received notice that my writing of children’s stories was selected for publication, the first thought that came to mind was that God had started, guided and accomplished the work.  So I give glory to God.

While raising my children, I told them bedtime stories.  When I had a grandson I also told him bedtime stories night after night. He fell asleep while listening to these stories.  A few years later my son and his family moved to America.  Five and a half years later, I came to America to my son's house and my three grandchildren expected a lot from their grandma.  My grandchildren always wanted to hear bedtime stories from their grandma, but many times I would be very tired from the days work and drift off during the middle of the story.  During those days, when their minds were like fertile soil, I didn't nourish their minds enough with beautiful stories and I regret it greatly.  I laid more emphasis on the physical work and neglected spiritual things. 

Last year, I wrote to my granddaughter to ask her to forgive me for that and she said, "You were and are still such a good grandmother."  However, I didn't feel relieved.  Now, I can't get that opportunity back and I want to share with others the grace that God poured abundantly on me.  I want to spend the rest of my life on this work.  This will be the atonement for my regretful past that still reproaches me.  

“Mother’s Day: May 12, 1991”

**** The three grandchildren wrote on the same card, about four times bigger than a normal card. There were also pictures of them.  It was when they were at the same medical school.  George and Abe are cousins and get along very well as if they were brothers.  They attended the same high school, university and medical school, as well as the same intern course.  George became an anesthesiologist; Abe became an ophthalmologist.  Now they are living very close to me.  Susan is a psychiatrist on staff at a reputable medical university.

Dear Grandmother,

Grandmother, thank you so much for your undying love.  You are truly the dearest grandmother in the world.  No other grandmother would do with such dedication what you have done for us.  Although many times I miserably fail to show my appreciation, please know that I truly do appreciate everything you’ve done! I love you very much!  Happy Mother's Day to you, Grandma!

Your granddaughter,

                        Susan

* I cried as I read this card.  In my heart, I was always sorry and regretful that I didn't do better by her, but she sent me this lovely card 17 years ago on Mother's Day and I admire how generous she is.  I thank God that He helped my grandchildren to grow and become persons seeing only the positive merits of others.  God gave me, as undeserving and sinful as I may be, this extraordinary gift of being a grandmother to these precious grandchildren for the past 37 years.  Indeed, I don’t deserve this.  How could I express this gratitude to God? What exorbitant grace He gives!  I am choked with tears of humbling gratitude.

“Oct 9, 1992”

Dear Grandma,

Thank you so much for being such a loving, God-fearing grandmother, for exemplifying Christ in your life, for your encouraging words and for caring.  I wish you all of God's richest blessings on this birthday and new year of your life.

Love,  

                        Susan

“Feb. 2, 1993”

Dear Susan,

I expected to go back home after one month but now three months have passed.  I think of you on the way to PMC (Pioneer Memorial Church) when I walk to pray every morning. 

Dear granddaughter, how are you doing?  Isn't it hard studying?  You are in your last semester at the University.  It is a very important time. 

Susan, everyone leaves his or her footprints behind.  One cannot leave false footprints – only true steps remain. 

            Dear granddaughter, I attended the funeral of Pastor Kim and I was very impressed by his life.  He followed the example of Jesus and his life touched me deeply and gave me a lesson for life. 

Dear Susan, we do not know when Our Lord Jesus Christ will come again, so let us be ready to welcome Him happily, leaving beautiful footprints everyday of our lives.

            I love you and pray for you always,

Grandma    

“Feb.14, 1993”

My dear granddaughter,

I went to bed but I couldn't sleep so now I write to you.  I don't know the reason but my heart is filled with thoughts of you right now.  This morning, I was waiting for your Aunt who was coming back from Korea today.  I was preparing food when suddenly, I burst into tears. 

I was thinking of days many years past and I repented of the things that I cannot change anymore.  I shed contrite tears with a painful heart.  My dear granddaughter, I feel so sorry because I lost those chances, the golden opportunities when I could have given plenty of love to you.  You are a woman now and no longer a child who has the time or interest to listen to your grandmother’s stories. 

In those days when I should have spent time with you and played with you, I was busy with sewing and gardening.  So when the time for stories came at night, I was so tired that I fell asleep before you did.  You needed a grandmother to spend time with you, playing with you, telling you stories, etc., but I didn't realize it until it was too late.

            My dear granddaughter, even though I wasn't a good grandmother in the past, I want to be a good grandmother now.  What shall I do to become a good grandmother? 

Upon writing this letter, I feel better.   It is 12:52 a.m., and I need to go to bed now.

My dear granddaughter, please grow up well in the Lord's arms.  I pray that you will become a beautiful daughter of the Lord and extend the fragrance of your life to others.

Your grandmother, who loves you so much.

“Your Face”

Really, what kind of face do I want to have?

O dear Lord

Put me in your favor

Make my face resemble yours

A bright face of His glory

A shining face of hope in waiting for Him

A face filled by His love

A face abundant with His benevolence.

"The Life of Serving Others"

Dear Lord

Give us the heart of Jesus

Help us to live every day with the heart of service

To be a runner running toward the goal every day

To receive the Crown of Life that He promised

Please help us stand there with the faithful remnant people

Please strengthen us to run day by day and help us not to miss the goal.

“July 1, 1993”

My dear granddaughter,

I was taking a walk one beautiful early morning.  The dawn had not yet broken, so I could not clearly see the color of the singing bird on a high electric line.  However, I knew the bird was a cardinal, because I could discern its slim and tiny figure.  The bird sang beautiful songs along the road while I walked.  The whole sky and canopy of trees were covered with their songs.  I also started singing on the way to my prayer garden.

"Father, our Father in heaven, Your love fills the whole universe.

You adopted me as your child and led me to know Your love

and guided me to live in Your love;

I am thankful deep in my heart and praise Your goodness.

Help us to proclaim Your love

Lead us to shine Your light and spread Your fragrance

And be Your messengers of life.

Dear Susan,

His love fills the universe abundantly and the birds are singing so beautifully, but my heart is wistful, desiring to share with you this dew of grace early in the morning.

Psalms 108:2

"Awake, harp and lyre!

I will awaken the dawn."

Psalm 110:3

"Your troops will be willing

on your day of battle.

Arrayed in holy majesty

from the womb of the dawn

you will receive the dew of your youth."(NIV)

Dear granddaughter, whose name is Susan, please go to the garden of God at dawn.  Then He will come to you and talk to you.  His gracious dew will fall down on you and help you to grow in the Holy Spirit.  You are a lovely lily, growing in the garden of the Lord, spreading His fragrance to those around.

Dawn, when the gracious dew drops,

A young girl, who will bloom into a pure flower

With fluttering heart, is waiting for the Lord who will come to her.

With a calm smile

Fragrance from an unknown place

He came and talked to the little girl.

Listening to Him and talking to Him

The girl prepares to bloom into a beautiful blossom

His word fills His garden abundantly

Today I gently open the door of the garden with the key that He gave

I come to Him holding a throbbing heart 

I come to His garden wet with the dew of grace.

Love, your grandma

May 4, 1994

When Susan was a child, she liked to listen to stories.  Every night she begged me, "Grandma, tell me a story."   

But I was always busy with other chores and I didn't grant her requests. During the day, I was busy taking care of the garden, so I was completely tired at night.  When I lay down in my bed next to my granddaughter, I would start telling her a story, but then I would begin to fall asleep.  My granddaughter would call, “Grandma!  Grandma!  What happened next?”

What could be more precious than my granddaughter?  I wish I could have spent more time with her, to help foster her dreams.  When she grew up she couldn't find time to listen to my stories, nor did she want to.  Seeds should be sown at the proper time.

“October 9, 1994”

To our dear loving Grandma,

            Grandma, yet another birthday is here!  I thank God for protecting you until now. 

When I think of you, I am filled with memories of your sincere and heartfelt prayers for us.  Despite our ingratitude, immaturity and mischief, you were the one who always loved us - our grandmother!  May this year be filled with many blessings and may God sustain you with good health.  Please pray for me to be with you when this world full with suffering ends to meet Jesus so that I may be able to say:  " I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith"(2 Timothy 4:7)

Your granddaughter,

                        Susan

Dear Grandma,

Thank so much for all the love and care you have shown and given me.  I know I don't thank you enough for all that you've done for me.  But, I want to reassure you of my deepest appreciation for everything.  Thank you for being the best grandmother that anyone could ask for.  I wish you could say that I was the best granddaughter.  But from my view, I know that hasn't been true.  I thank God for giving me this truly blessed gift of such a wonderful grandmother.  I know lately, we haven't spent much time together like we used to.  But when you leave, my thoughts and prayers will always be with you.  I pray to God that He will bless you with another happy and healthy year, and many, many, many more to follow.   I love you, Grandmother.

Your granddaughter,

                    Susan       

“May 14, 1995”

Grandma

Thank you so much for all your love, care, and prayers.  You're really a wonderful grandmother and I love you very much!  I remember all those times when I was a little girl, when you let me come and sleep in your room and told me so many wonderful stories.  Thank you for being such an example and model of Christianity to all those around you.  We love you. 

Your grand-daughter,

                        With much love,   Susan

Grandma,

            Have a happy Mother's Day.  Thank you very much for praying for us with tears.

Your love is so wonderful.  Be always healthy and happy in the Lord.  I hope to see you soon.

George and Susan

Dear Grandma,

            Congratulations on yet another birthday.  Thank you for living a healthy and happy life for a year in the Lord.  In this next new year, I pray that God will bless you abundantly

                            Your grand-daughter,

                             Susan

* They often write letters in Korean so that I can understand, even though it is much more difficult for them than writing in English.   

“Jan. 21, 1996”

Whenever I pray for you, Susan, I pray that you become a meek and humble daughter of God.  I pray that you will be as a Susan, blooming on a mountain valley, fully grown in purity, sweet and beautiful, a light and a fragrance of the Lord.

            Dear Susan, when I reminisce of the old days, I remember that you were a lively child.  You climbed up trees very well and loved to exercise.  You were ambitious and wanted to learn everything.  When I came to America, you were still a little child but I gazed in wonder as you took baths and combed your hair by yourself. 

            When I saw you going to church wearing the dress that I made, I was delighted.  I remember the day that I made you that dress.  I spent almost the whole night working, because you needed a dress for the camp meeting that was starting the next day.  The dress was light blue with a white patch on it, with white lace around the hem.  You were so beautiful in that dress. 

            Now you have grown up and become a young lady.  I don't need to make dresses for you and tell you old stories.  You decide everything on your own and shop according to your own tastes.  Once more, I just look at you with amazement.  Whether you see it or not, hear it or not, I constantly pray to God for you.

            I pray that my supplications for you reach God's presence.

With love,

Your grandmother

“The Soul is the Indwelling of God’s Glory “ Jan. 3,   1994

John 17:22-“I have given them the glory that you gave me.”

The soul is the indwelling of God’s glory

These are God’s precious children

Evil cannot touch them

Sin cannot penetrate

Worldly influences cannot invade

God will be your shield and mountain fortress

He will be a dam against the angry rushing waters

He has always kept watch over you

Sons and daughters were born again in the Lord

George, Susan, and Abe, Andy, Alex and Ben

They are standing with bright and clear faces.

Matt. 5:14-“You are the light of the world.”

Jesus says, “You are the light of the world.”

Matt.5:16-“Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

Dear granddaughter Susan,

I believe that you will live that kind of life and sing praises and offer thanks to the Lord. You left for Korea to be an evangelist. You are there to give glory to God and to faithfully do His work and I give thanks to the Lord and send my praise.