할머니와 손자녀들 PART 4 My Grandson Andrew-박옥종 Lilian Chung > 글동네

       Grandma and Grandchildren

          할머니와 손자녀들

   PART 4 My Grandson, Andrew

“Supplication”

In typhoons, in waves like mountain peaks,

We are safe in the ark, remaining unmoved.

The Lord Jesus Christ is our captain

The ark advances continually toward the harbor of heaven.

Lord, are all the children in the ark?

At this time, when the door is about to shut,

Are they all in here?

In the days when violent storms of misfortune and billows of temptation rage

Like “a roaring lion,”

Are they under the Lord’s wings, the only shelter?

May every day, every hour, and every moment be used as training towards piety

Build the kingdom where the king of heaven Himself rules over.

In my heart, in my home, in my church and in my neighborhood,

Give us harmony in His love to become as one;

Fill them with your eternal peace.

“I Hope My Grandchildren Grow Up Like Cedar” March  23, 1999

Ezekiel 17:23 "On the mountain heights, of Israel, I will plant it; it will produce and bear fruit and become a splendid cedar.  Birds of every kind will nest in it; they will find shelter in the shade of its branches."

Dear Lord

I have an earnest desire

May my grandchildren grow up like cedars

In the garden of the Lord.

Though many kinds of diseases brood in the world,

Protect them that they may not be attacked from disease

And be like cedars that emanate the fragrance that You gave –

Please make them be like cedars in Your garden.

Let them endure

All the stormy trials

And be used as precious wood

To become pillars in the sanctuary of God.

“Oct. 9, 1984”

Mother, Congratulations on your 60th birthday.  In God's abundant blessing, be always healthy and happy, my mother.              

Son

Happy Birthday  

Andy

* Andy was an elementary school student at this time.

Mother, I hope your travels in Korea have not been too difficult.  We always pray for you. Please take good care of yourself and may the peace of the Lord be with you and the grace of God embrace you always.  We are sad that you are not here with us on your 60th birthday.

Your daughter-in-law,

Lucy

* My mother used to stay in Los Angeles at my brother's house.  While there, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  The doctors informed us that she would have only 6 months to live.  So, as she wished, I took her back to Korea, where I helped take care of her at my brother’s home in Korea.  During that time, I had my 60^th birthday.  Shortly thereafter, my mother passed away on the 2^nd of November.

“June 18, 1993”

It is now 2:14 a.m.  Initially, I sat down in front of my desk in a state of peaceful joy, but now the light that I turned on irritates my eyes.  It's a great joy and comfort to me knowing that my three grandchildren have come home and are sleeping.  How long has it been since I sat in front of my desk at this silent time of the night?  Now the thunder has stopped and I am surrounded by silence like a deep sea and I am thinking of last night’s worship. 

It must have been after 9 pm when I came back from the English Bible study at the church.  It was the first day of study, so we talked about the future plans of the study, introduced ourselves one by one and shared experiences related to our past English Bible study.

When I came home, I gathered up the quilts, blankets, sheets, and rugs that I had washed and hung them up on the clothesline to dry.  I watered the flowers and vegetables in the front, side and back gardens.  After that, I sat down in front of the piano and started playing hymns when the phone rang.      

I could hear my son's voice through the line.  He asked, "Are Susan and Andy home?"  I answered, "They went out and are not back home yet."

He laughed and said, "They are having a good time during their vacation, aren't they?”  My son is always optimistic and this made me smile.  Now it was after 10 p.m. when I came back to the piano to play hymns.  I heard the front door open and the voices of my grandchildren. 

"Is that you, Susan?”

“No, it’s Alex."

Andy and Alex had returned.

            "Children, let's have worship."  At my request, they immediately responded by loudly singing in unison as I unskillfully played the piano.

            "I love to tell the story of unseen things above…"

Then I sat down on the sofa and Andy gave the reading, and the story was about John Wesley.  Surrounded with peace and rest, I felt happiness deep in my heart.  I give thanks to God who answers my anguished cries every night.  My gratitude to God overflows in my heart like a tidal wave. 

I want to write a book, titled "A Grandmother and Her Grandchildren."  I want people to read the hopes and wishes I had for my grandchildren in the letters and diaries of the book.  And I hope that this book will encourage and guide the youth of today and be a helpful guide to their parents.

             Above all, I wish that this book glorifies God and pleases Him.

“Walking with the Dawn Sky Above”

Filled with a lake of sorrow,

Walking with the dawn sky above and

The twinkling stars that comfort me,

I hold up my head and raise my eyes to heaven

And count the stars in the early morning

O lord, Rise up as a morning star

On the lake of my heart... on the way to prayer,

Let the mist vanish in my heart,

The floating mist in my mind…

At dawn, the waving mist is like a sheet.

Lord, rise up as the bright sun

Dissolve the mist of my heart!

“Aug. 3. 1995”

When my grandchildren are not in their proper place, on time, I am anxious.

At 3:00 am, Andy wasn't in his room.

He wasn’t in the family room, living room, basement, or in Ben's room.

He was nowhere to be found.

Disappointment and worry filled my mind.

If I did not have the opportunity of praying to God,

The light of my life might have already died out.

I cry out as if the window of my body and heart are wide open.

The way to learn endurance and love is difficult.

The way of the Cross, walking everyday, fighting a battle.

O Lord, strengthen me to live today

Today, give me wisdom to testify about you

Today, give me hope to look to you more

Today, give me faith to stand firm,

More and more to become a person of love, fortitude, modesty,

To reflect you rightly and glorify you.

“Can't Express the Heart”

Weary body

Holding onto grief

Climbing into bed.

When is he coming back?

Can't express my heart

Only the Lord knows.

* Deep night waiting for and thinking of a grandson who hadn’t come home yet

“For your habit”

I didn't sleep well for several nights.  For two days, Andy didn't return home and it kept me awake from 12:30 am to morning in prayer and scripture reading.  Tears streamed down my cheeks.  Tears flowed as I prayed to the Lord.  I waited and pleaded for a grandson whose actions and whereabouts I knew nothing of.  He does not sleep at night and sleeps late when he doesn't need to go to school.  Coming home at midnight is early for him.  I advised him about this problem.  He reassures me, but only to repeat it again.  I just pray more sincerely while holding God's promise in Isaiah 49:25.

My beloved grandson Andy, your grandmother cannot fall asleep, so I pray thinking of you.  My beloved grandson Andy, you have a good personality that everyone praises.  However, I worry because of your habit of going out at night.  If you cannot correct it, it will be a chronic problem in your life.  Andy, please return home.  When you first moved here, you called me when you were coming late, but now you do not inform me of anything.  It is no longer a small thing.  As the night grows late, I pray for the Lord to heal and save you.  

“The Lord Came to Me”

In the severe wind and hard cold winter

To a trembling soul

Like a spring sunshine

The Lord came to me.

In the thick darkness of this world

Not knowing where to go –

The Lord came to me as a brilliant morning light.

In the desert of human life

To the exhausted and thirsty soul

The Lord came to me as living water.

To a dying soul

Wandering between life and death

The Lord came to me as heavenly Bread.

Clouds of doubt, fogs of worry, all wiped away

The Lord came to me as a Guide for my life.

Hallelujah!

Praise the Lord, who answers our prayers!

Romans 12:2

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Lord, please hear my petition and

Help them not to follow the example of this world:

George, Susan, Abe, Andy, Alex, Ben.

Please renew each of their minds and let them be transformed

Let them discern your good will

Walk in the way that pleases You

And accomplish Your perfect will.

When I came to the United States my grandson, Andy, was four years old. His mother would sometimes have to run errands and so he remained at home with Grandma.  We would always sit together in Daddy’s armchair and read from My Bible Story or My Bedtime Story.  My grandson was not able to read yet, so I read the books to him and we became very close.  Before I came to America, I thought, ‘When I go to the United States

I will read story books for my grandson.’  So as I practiced reading in English for my grandson, whom I had never seen before, I felt that my life was truly worthwhile.

            The following spring I learned how to garden and began planting and tending vegetables.  Andy would like to follow me and spent many enjoyable hours helping Grandma in the vegetable garden.

            Before I left Korea I purchased two cassette tapes, one of hymns and the other of Korean children’s songs, to bring to Andy.  Andy would listen to the tapes everyday.  Andy was the type of boy who intently listened and learned.  When he was old enough to go to school he did very well in his classes.

“Born Again”

Face to face seeing each other

Heart to heart reflecting one another

When one stands before His presence

Your heart becomes a mirror

Totally revealing yourself.

Your soul emerges to the Lord

In that moment, the Lord Jesus enlarges in your whole being

You lose yourself

The breath of life that breathed life into Adam in the Beginning

Molds and breathes into you again

Today, you are born again, born again

Under the cross by the grace of the Lord

The gift of the Spirit like a flowing river to the reborn

A young man renewed in the Lord.

“July 10, 1995”

Dear Lord,

My prayers for my grandchildren will never be in vain; I believe in you and beseech you to please rescue them.

Isaiah 49:25

But this is what the LORD says:

"Yes, captives will be taken from warriors

and plunder retrieved from the fierce;

I will contend with those who contend with you,

and your children I will save."

I trust this word and beseech you, my Lord

Please accomplish it with Thy goodness.

By Thy mercy make them born again 

Also save their friends and help them

O Lord, please remember them!

May all these young men

Be filled with the Holy Spirit

And be workers dedicated to the Lord's ministry.

Lord, by Thy great mercy and sympathy

I pray that you have mercy

On each of them and save them.

I believe my prayer is acceptable to you and I thank you.

“February1993”

Dear Andy,

I am very sorry for being delayed.  I want to see you.  You are my grandson and I thank God always and pray earnestly for you and your future.  I pray that you will become a man fully prepared for God’s use.  How are you doing and how are your studies going?  A lot of people lose the golden opportunities that come to them in the course of their lives.  They might think that they will have another chance or that they will enjoy these chances for a long time, but they do not know that the opportunities do not come again.

The age of youth is a golden season in life.  Seeds sown in springtime should be cared for by sweating, weeding and cultivating during the hot summer.  It is difficult to expect a good harvest if you are like the singing cicada resting in the trees.  The days of youth never come again.  Let us live every moment sincerely.  May the Lord of Love help you.

Love,

Grandma

“Jan. 23, 1996”

Dan 8:9-14; 10:11, 19.  All the prophecies that were given to Daniel were fulfilled exactly.  Indeed, we now realize that the day of His coming is nearly at hand.  But are we living properly as people who understand the prophecies?  What a surprise that as people professing the truth, we are dozing now.  How amazing!  We tell others that the time is short, but we ourselves are living as if He is not coming for a long time. 

I went to bed at 9:00 pm but I heard Andy coming in, so I woke up and made him a sandwich.  He said he would make it himself, but I wanted to.  He liked it and said, "Thank you, grandma."  I was glad.

After ten I went to bed and slept for two hours and woke up again around 12:00.  I prayed for quite a long time. I truly thanked God because he answered my prayers for Andy.  He worked a miracle in Andy

"I really thank You, Lord!  I praise Your name!"

            Praise His name!  Give glory to Him who rules over the universe!

Amen, Amen, hallelujah!  

“Feb. 2, 1996”

It will soon be 2:00 am.  Last night I prayed for my grandson and went to bed, but my grandson didn't come back home, so I couldn't sleep.  I woke up, slept, woke up again and knelt down to pray, but he still didn't come back!

Dear Andy, can't you give me a call?  Why are you so absent-minded?  Do you not feel the anxious love of your grandmother?  Yesterday, as we were having a meal together, I told you, "Andy, come home early and go to bed soon."  Don't you remember that?

You say that you come home late because of your studies, but it seems to be your habit to go out at night.  How can you correct your habit?  I am really worried about you.  I feel helpless and I just pray ceaselessly for you.  After 12 o'clock, I tried to sleep and pray again, but now it's past 1 am and I still cannot sleep.  I was thinking about this and that so I knelt down and memorized some Psalms.  Finally I turned on the lights and sat at my desk.  Now I must rely on the Lord Jesus and try to gain some peace of mind.  I worry and I can't do anything.  My sadness cannot reach you so I tell my problems to God.

Andy, regardless of how much you have worried me, I can't give you up.  I beseech my Lord even more fervently to save you.  Andy, Jesus will send you everything to save you in His great love, and He will ultimately save you.

            Look to Jesus on the cross.  Please turn back from the world and look to Jesus.  Have ears that will listen to Grandma's anxious supplication. May the Lode open your ears. May His precious blood on the cross not be in vain. O Lord, save him! 

“My Lord Gives Me Songs in My Heart”      April 24, 2003

Sometimes my Lord

Plays the strings of the harp in my heart

I sing a song unconsciously

Walking by the way and doing some work

Tuning to the tune and melody of heaven

My heart becomes high in spirit with joy and thanks

I immerse myself into His grace

The moment when His love wakes me up

I become a singer

I become a poetess

And soar toward the world of deep meditation

He gives songs in my heart

He is my master, teacher and my king

Sometimes He becomes my friend

Tenderly walking with me along a garden path

Touring with me on the clouds in heaven

My Lord is most excellent in the universe

The best poet who knows lyricism

The great artist who draws the best pictures

Such a wonderful Lord, with Him I walk today

In high spirit, singing beautiful songs

Talking to Him, dreaming of traveling the whole universe

My Lord, who gives me songs in my heart

May this song become a more beautiful song

Lord, be with me always and teach me.