할머니와 손자녀들! PART 6 My Grandson Benjamin-박옥종 Lilian Chung > 글동네

              Grandma and Grandchildren

                   할머니와 손자녀들

               Part 6  My Grandson, Benjamin

“Prayer of Intercession”

I awoke at midnight -

Some memories come to mind . . .

Beside my bed I kneel

And build up my altar for prayer.

A mother's fullness of heart

Wrote these names down

I hold up the names in my hand

And I pray to the Lord.

May He open the gates in heaven!

Joyful waves rush into my heart;

God is merciful to His children,

Saving them amidst the perilous billows.

My prayer becomes sweet incense

Reaching to the Lord in heaven,

My tears become vapor

Laid up in heaven's bottles.

“Nov. 15, 1994”

I raked the leaves today.  I wanted the children to help me, but nobody responded, so I asked God for help and worked quite a long time, even after the sun went down and it became dark outside.  He heard my prayers and helped me.  I was very happy and soon the work became joyful to me.  I reminisced about my childhood and youth, and I could understand my grandchildren.  Suddenly, love for my grandchildren swept over me like a wave and I thanked God for giving me these children and for giving me good health.  I worked eagerly.  I felt that the Lord was beside me helping me, and my heart was full of gratitude. Talking with Him, I was able to finish the work more efficiently than I thought.  I am so thankful to God. 

“Grandma makes a Gourmand”

Ben always praises others.  He used to tell me, "Lillian’s restaurant is the best."

While gesturing he exclaimed, "Grandma makes a gourmand.”

Until today, I misunderstood this word to mean exceeding praise for me.  I thought that gourmand meant the finest food.  However, today I looked it up in the dictionary and found that gourmand is an abbreviation of gormandizer meaning 'big eater.”  How funny!  It makes me wonder, am I responsible for him being overweight?  He had told me before that I had cooked too much for him.

“Ben’s Grand Voice”

Ben has a grand voice.  When he sings, his big but soft voice is very nice to listen to.  His kind and gentle words comfort others. When I listen to him speaking, I feel like all the problems will be solved.  His mother wanted her youngest son to be a pastor, someone who would spread the gospel, but he went to law school after he finished the seminary. Before he graduated from the seminary, he practiced a sermon in front of me.  I was sitting on the sofa while he preached and when he finished, I was so touched that an Amen came out of me automatically.  I felt that he had indeed received talents to be an evangelist.

I pray that he will be a lay evangelist who does great work for the Lord, like Pastor Knechtle, who was the main speaker at the Eastern Korean Camp-meeting.  On the last night of camp-meeting, after Pastor Knechtle had spoken, people came forward one by one to the podium and devoted themselves to the Lord with tears.  I cannot forget that moment and I wish Ben could be such a lay pastor and devote himself to God.

I believe that this will be possible only if he surrenders his heart to God. I heard that in law school, in one of his oral tests, all the other students except for him were told their mistakes.  When he finished his test, the professor said, "I was so mesmerized by your speech that I couldn't find any mistakes!"

I pray that he devotes his life to God and becomes a useful worker of God and that his talents are used in ministry!        

            Ben worked at the University Broadcasting station. He had many fans who liked him. They liked his voice. His mother wanted one of her three sons to become a pastor and she hoped Ben would become a pastor. But it didn’t turn out that way. He studied theology but became a lawyer. I believe he lives a good Christian life, accepting God’s will every day.  I pray for him. I live a happy Christian life praising the Lord, who saved me and my grandchildren.

“Now is the Time”

Dec. 15, 1994

Hosea 10:12 "Sow to yourselves in righteousness, reap in memory; break up your fallow ground ; for it is time to seek the LORD, till he comes and rains righteousness upon you"

Lord, now is the time

To seek You

Help us to realize that;

Those miserable souls

Locked in a crucible of temptation

Find no way out—

I don't know what to do

O Lord, do not forsake them

Send them Your glorious beam

Please send a light upon those

Covered with the dark smoke of worldly pleasure.

In their dim consciousness

Please let them hear Your voice

Your beautiful voice like heavenly music

Jesus, Lord of love!

Please pour down Your righteousness like rain

Soften their hardened hearts

With the plow of the Holy Spirit, cultivate their hearts

Plant the seed of thy love

Let them grow in thy sunshine of righteousness and thy rain of grace

Lord, with thy infinite love

Wake up the sleeping souls

Help them prepare for the Lord's Day –

I give thanks to You.

“July 10, 1995”

During the summer vacation, there are many hard days.

The boys get up late,

Noisy music and TV constantly on.

My ears are sore.  The eardrums may be damaged.

Everyday, sorrow and pain fill my heart.

Only He knows the deep sorrow in my heart.

What I see and hear, all bring anguish to my heart.

I understand the prophet Jeremiah's heart.

I go through difficult days of shedding tears and praying.

Only He knows my heart and soothes me.

Sometimes I feel like falling down to the ground with despair.

But before His presence I kneel down and receive new strength.

He lives and always considers my heart.

He didn't spare His comfort and encouragement; He gave me rest.

Without Him, I can't live even a moment.

Lord, everyday I depend on you.

Please make them new persons by Your love.

Save these poor children, O Lord!

“Unknowingly Grew up”

Unknowingly

They grew up

We think children are foolish

But they are not

Great talents mature late

To be a greater person

He grew up slowly

How much more

Wide and expansive are their minds

Than ours

Indeed as a great leader

Knowing how to deal with minds

He grew up

Cast all your worries upon the Lord

He will care for your grandchildren and bring them up

Give thanks only to God

Be happy and pray

Live in hope.

“Under the wings of His love”

I will go where my Lord leads

I will be where my Lord presents

I will be where my Lord abides.

How hot is the sun

How strong the rain and the wind!

How harsh the snowstorm –

I will be safe under the shadow of His wings.

I will meditate where the Lord meditates

I will work where the Lord works

I will pray where the Lord prays

I will always live with my Lord with joy, thanksgiving and praise

His Word is the light on my path

Prayer becomes the breath of my heart

I will be His able worker by the grace of my Lord.

The Lord will accomplish my wish

The Lord's love will make me able

I will give thanks and praise my Lord, who leads me with strength.  Hallelujah!

Sept, 1, 1998

Andy and Ben came over for a meal. I was glad to see my grandchildren eating so well. I went to the market and bought some vegetables, olives and beans.

Sept 2, 1998

I prepared pocket bread, brown rice and lettuce for my grandchildren.

Sept 3, 1998

I prepared noodle and salad for my grandchildren. They said they would not come for lunch tomorrow, because they are going to fast. Ben is going to visit his brother Alex.  He said that his sister-in-law Eliza is a wonderful lady and that Alex attends church regularly, goes to bed early and gets up early, plays tennis and jogs regularly. He also works hard at home, putting up wall papers and repairing the floor. He invited Ben for Labor Day weekend.  I was very happy to hear about Alex and Eliza married and living happy lives and improving their life styles.

I dumped the garbage and opened the mail box and found a letter. The handwriting on the envelope looked elegant, and I wondered who had sent me the letter.  I opened the envelope and found a pretty card from Eliza. She had sent a nice picture of her and Alex’s honeymoon as well as a beautiful note kindly updating me with their news.    She wrote that they slept well with the warm blanket that I had made for them as a wedding gift. She said she ate the vegetables which I had sent to her. She wrote that was studying Korean with tapes and books and hopes to write a letter to me in Korean in the near future.

I was so happy to read this nice letter, filled and written with thanksgiving and love, and I further experienced God’s goodness through it. Therefore I showed the letter and picture to my friends when we prayed together in the evening.

The day I received a lovely letter from my granddaughter-in-law

My heart realized the grace of God more fully

And I read the letter gladly to share that grace.

“Dec 9, 1998”

In the book of John chapter 6, the Lord said a very important truth and I realize it anew.  In chapter 4, I learned that the Lord is the Water of Life, and in chapter 6, that the Lord is the Bread of Life.  I keenly acknowledge these truths.

Without Water or Bread, how could I live?

Lord, my Living Water, Lord Jesus, my Living Bread

Please come to us and stay with us forever.

My Lord arrived at each of our hearts

As living Water and living Bread abundantly

People gladly praise Him, and what loving people they are!

            After prayer, I wrote letters to the Chang family and to Dr. and Mrs. Lee.  I sent the letter to the Chang's but I will rewrite the letter for Dr. and Mrs. Lee and send it tomorrow.  I wrote to say that I am praying for them to come back to Jesus.    

I wanted to walk outside but came back and prepared materials to make dumplings and called Rachel.  She came and we took brown rice, vegetables, flour dough and the filling for dumplings and went to Dogwood.  There, we ate lunch and after eating, we made the dumplings. We prepared fried dumplings and dumpling soup for dinner for the grandchildren.  When I came back to my apartment, it was already after 7 p.m.  It was too late to attend my small group prayer meeting.  I wanted to read a book and opened it but I felt pain all over my body.  I reminded myself that I hadn’t exercised, so I did some stretches, sit-ups and weight-lifting and felt much better.  It was past 9 p.m. and I put eye drops in my eye and prayed and went to bed.

“January 27, 1999”

Exodus 22:31 "You are to be my holy people"

"To be holy people to the Lord"

Means to live differently from the world

Let the heart that is inclined to the world be straightened

Please help us to walk in the right way

In the heart of young people

May His love be kindled up

Conquer temptation

Turn to the Lord from temptation

And help me guide them to the Lord

Help them to be valiant warriors

To bring out those who are captured by the evil power

Please arm the young people

We are distinguished men

The Lord's holy people

Please help us to put more efforts in His work

Fierce waves of temptation surge all around

We are warriors of the Lord, we will fight bravely

The time is imminent

Let us wake up and be ready

“The Power of Changing Lives”

Rom 1:16

God gave us the good news so that we could be changed to become children of God and be saved.  Weak persons become strong, foolish ones become wise, lowly persons become God's children, poor ones become rich, all by the grace of God!  A dead soul receives new life, experiencing rebirth.  He becomes a new creation and no longer lives like he did in the past. His despair changes to hope, his sadness into joy.   A dirge becomes praise and all becomes new.

Dear young people!  Did you experience this power that gives life to the dead?  Do you share the experience with others?  Many young people run on the road of death.  They are on a black train dancing and raising uproar.  They don't know where they are going even though the train is running to the grave. 

Young people, what do you want?  Death or life, curses or blessings, which do you choose?  Those who obey God will be given a blessing, those who disobey a curse.  This plain reality is clearer than a chemistry formula.

Dear young men, come back to the Lord Jesus, the source of living water!  By the Gospel and the power of change, become new persons.  Go out with your vivid experiences and testify, leading souls to the Lord.

"Follow me and I will make you fishers of men." ( Matthew 4:19)

This word will be accomplished in your lives.

The Lord Jesus will be with you and give you strength. 

“When Ben Appeared with White Hair”

My grandchildren used to dye their hairs.  They would appear with yellow hair, red hair, etc.  Now a grandson appeared with white hair.  I was at a loss for words.  I felt so sad seeing him wearing earrings and following the fashion of the world.  He seemed to be well beyond my influence. 

When I see the covers of the magazines that my grandchildren read, the hair styles, clothing and ornaments of the people on the cover look very odd.  Young people may think that they are keeping the latest fashion.  But, whenever I see those magazines, I feel like throwing them away and it is almost too much to ignore. 

They are my grandchildren's books and if I throw them away without their permission, they might think of me as the enemy and close their minds to me.  Endure, and endure; the Lord will hear my prayers and work in their minds to discern what is good and what is evil.  I will wait practicing endurance until His will is done in them.

I tell myself that my grandchildren are my teachers.  Because I lack endurance and have a narrow mind, the Lord uses my grandchildren as tools to train my character, teaching me to forgive others and accept them as they are, even if they are wrong. 

Step by step, I am learning God's mercy that forgives us without limits no matter how much we do wrong.

            Before long, Ben dyed his hair back to black.   I worried that it was harmful to dye one’s hair too often.

*How amazing is God’s grace, that this immature high school student grew up to graduate from the seminary and law school, and is now a practicing lawyer!  We must always see with eyes of faith, believing that the seeds of faith God planted in these youth surely do sprout and grow into tall trees, becoming instruments of His work.  God’s love is amazing!  Hallelujah!

Dearest Grandma,

Happy 74th birthday.  Thank you for all the love and kindness you have shown me.  I hope these vitamins and minerals will help you live until God comes again.  I love you.

Your Grandson,

                        Ben

Dear Grandma,

Thank you for all your love and support.  I feel so blessed to have such a kind, patient, and caring grandmother.  The many prayers and meals you have given me will not be forgotten.  I know that I will become a better Christian man as I mature.  I hope this year is the best one yet and I pray that you will remain happy, holy and healthy.  God bless you on this wonderful day.  Happy Birthday!!         

Love,

                        Ben                           

Dear Grandma,

May you be blessed greatly with the love of the Lord and be rewarded for your faith in Him.  You are the greatest grandma in the world.  Keep shining your light and spread the word of God forever.  Happy Mother's Day.

Love,

Your Grandson, Ben Kim

* Ben always comforts me with loving letters and words

Dear Grandmother,

You have always been most loving and thoughtful to me.  I truly appreciate all your love and care.  I hope to make you proud someday and will continue to pray for your health and happiness.

Love,

Ben

Dear Grandmother,