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할머니와 손자녀들! 제 6부 나의 사랑하는 외손자 신호

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할머니와 손자녀들

제 6부 나의 사랑하는 외손자 신호

“중보 기도”

나는 밤중에 잠이 깨었다-

어떤 기억들이 내 마음에 떠오른다...

침대 곁에 무릎꿇고

기도의 제단을 쌓는다.

어머니의 충만한 마음으로

이 이름들을 쓰고

그 이름들을 내 손에 들고

나는 주님께 기도드린다.

주님께서 하늘 문을 여시니

기쁨의 물결이 나의 심장에 밀려든다.

하나님은 그의 자녀들에게 자비하셔서

위험한 파도에서 구원하신다.

나의 기도는 감미로운 향이 되어

하늘에 계신 주님께 도달하고

나의 눈물은 수증기가 되어

하늘의 병들에 쌓여진다.

“1994년 11월 15일”

오늘 나는 낙엽을 긁었다. 나는 아이들이 나를 도와주기를 바랐지만, 아무도 도와주지 않아서 하나님의 도움을 구하며 꽤 여러 시간 일을 하고 해가 져서 어두워진 후에도 일을 했다. 주님께서 나의 기도를 들으시고 도와주셨다. 나는 대단히 행복하고 일이 즐거웠다. 내가 나의 어린 시절과 젊은 시절을 회상해보니 나의 손자녀들을 이해할 수 있었다. 갑자기 나의 손자들을 향한 사랑이 물결처럼 나를 휩쓸었고, 나는 나에게 손자를주시고, 좋은 건강을 주신 하나님께 감사드렸다. 나는 열심히 일을 했다. 나는 주님께서 내 옆에서 도와주시는 것을 느꼈고, 나의 마음은 감사로 충만하였다. 주님과 대화하며 나는 그 일을 내가 생각했던 것보다 더 효과적으로 마칠 수 있었다. 나는 하나님께 아주 감사하였다.

“할머니께서 대식가를 만드신다.”

신호는 항상 다른 사람을 칭찬한다. 그는 "할머니 레스토랑이 최고"라고 말하곤 했다.

그는 몸짓을 하며 "할머니께서 대식가를 만드신다."라고 외쳤다.

오늘까지 나는 이 말이 나를 굉장히 칭찬하는 것이라고 오해했다. 나는 gourmand 라는 단어가 가장 좋은 음식을 의미한다고 생각했다. 그런데 오늘 나는 사전을 찾아보고 gourmand는 gourmadizer의 줄인 말이며, '대식가'라는 뜻임을 알게 되었다. 얼마나 우스운가! 내가 그의 과체중에 말인가? 책임이 있단 말인가? 라고 생각하게 되었다. 그는 전에 내가 그를 위해 음식을 너무 많이 만들어준다고 말한 적이 있다.

“신호의 우렁찬 목소리”

신호는 목소리가 우렁차다. 그가 노래부를 때, 그의 크고도 부드러운 목소리는 대단히 듣기 좋다. 그의 친절하고 상냥한 말은 다른 사람을 위로해준다. 내가 그의 말을 들을 때 나는 모든 문제가 해결 될 것처럼 느낀다. 그의 엄마는 막내 아들이 복음을 전하는 목사가 되기를 원했지만, 그는 신학을 공부한 후 법대에 입학했다. 그가 신학을 마치기 전에 내 앞에서 설교를 연습했다. 나는 소파에 앉아서 그의 설교를 들었는데, 그가 설교를 마쳤을 때, 나는 큰 감동을 받고 자동적으로 "아멘!" 소리가 나왔다. 그가 진실로 복음 전도자의 은사를 받았다고 느꼈다.

나는 그가 제 1회 중동부 야영회 때, 주강사였던 크넥트리 목사님처럼 주님을 위해 위대한 일을 했던 평신도 전도자가 되기를 간절히 기도드렸다. 중동부 연합 야영회가 마치던 마지막 날 밤 크넥트리 목사님의 설교 후, 사람들은 한 사람, 또 한 사람 앞으로 나아와 눈물로 주님께 헌신했다. 나는 그 순간을 잊을 수 없고, 신호가 자신을 하나님께 헌신한 그러한 평신도 사역자가 되기를 소망한다.

그의 마음을 온전히 하나님께 바칠 때에 이 일이 가능하리라고 나는 믿는다. 법대에서 구두 시험 때, 그를 제외한 모든 학생들이 실수를 지적받았다는 말을 들었다. 그의 구두 시험을 마쳤을 때, 교수님이 "너의 웅변에 너무나 매혹되어서 아무 실수도 발견할 수 없었다"라고 말하였다고 했다.

나는 그가 그의 생애를 하나님께 바치고, 하나님의 유용한 일군이 되며, 그이 재능을 복음 사역을 위해 사용하기를 기도드린다.

신호는 앤드류스 대학 방송국에서 일했다. 그를 좋아하는 팬들이 많았다. 그들은 그이 목소리를 좋아했다. 그의 엄마는 세 아들 중 하나가 목사님이 되기를 원했고, 신호가 목사님이 되기를 바랐다. 그러나 그렇게 되지 못했다. 그는 신학 석사 학위를 받은 후에 변호사가 되었다. 나는 그가 날마다 하나님의 뜻을 받아드리는 좋은 그리스도인 삶을 살아간다고 믿는다. 나는 그를 위해 기도드린다. 나는 나와 나의 손자녀들을 구원하신 주님을 찬양하며 행복한 그리스도인의 삶을 살아가고 있다.

“지금이 그 때다.”

1994년 12월 15일

호세아 10:12 "너희가 자기를 위하여 의를 심고 긍휼을 거두라. 지금이 곧 여호와를 찾을 때니 너희 묵은 땅을 기경하라. 마침내 여호와께서 임하사 의를 비처럼 너희에게 내리시리라."

주님, 지금이 당신을 찾을

바로 그 때입니다.

우리로 하여금 그 사실을 깨닫도록 도와주소서.

유혹의 혹독한 시련 속에 갇혀서

탈출할 길을 찾지 못하는

저 불상한 영혼들을 어찌하리이까

오, 주님, 그들을 버리지 마소서

그들에게 당신의 영광스러운 공선을 비추소서

세상 쾌락의 어두운 연기로 덮여있는

그들에게 부디 빛을 비추소서

그들의 희미한 의식 속에

부디 당신의 음성을 듣도록

하늘의 음악같은 당신의 아름다운 음성을 듣게 하소서

예수님, 사랑의 주님!

당신의 의를 비같이 퍼부어주셔서

굳어진 마음을 부드럽게 하여주소서

성령의 쟁기로 그들의 마음을 기경하사

당신의 사랑의 씨앗을 심으시고

당신의 의의 빛과 은혜의 단비로 자라게 하소서

주님, 당신의 무한한 사랑으로

잠자는 영혼들을 깨우시고

주의 날을 위하여 예비하도록 도와주시옵소서

당신께 감사를 드립니다.

“1995년 7월 10일”

여름 방학 동안, 많은 힘든 날들이 있었다.

손자들이 늦게 일어났고,

시끄러운 음악과 테레비 소리가 계속되었다.

귀가 아팠다. 고막이 상했나보다.

날마다 슬픔과 고통이 나의 마음에 가득했다.

오직 주님만이 나의 마음의 깊은 슬픔을 아신다.

내가 보고 듣는 모든 것이 나의 마음에 고통을 가져온다.

나는 예레미야 선지자의 마음을 이해한다.

나는 눈물을 흘리며 기도하는 힘든 날을 보내고 있다.

오직 그분만 나의 마음을 아시고 달래주십니다.

때때로 나는 실망되어 땅에 넘어질 것 같습니다.

그러나 주님 앞에 무릎꿇고 새 힘을 얻습니다.

그는 살아계시고 나의 마음을 항상 고려하십니다.

그는 그의 위로와 격려를 아끼지 않으십니다. 그는 나에게 쉼을 주십니다.

그분이 없이는 나는 한 순간도 살 수 없읍니다.

주님, 날마다 저는 당신께 의지합니다.

당신의 사라으로 그들을 새 사람들이 되게 하소서.

오 주님, 이 불쌍한 아이들을 구원하여 주시옵소서!

“알지 못하는 사이에 자랐다.”

알지 못하는 사이에 그들은 자랐다.

우리는 아이들이 어리석다고 생각한다.

그러나 그들은 어리석지 않다.

훌륭한 사람이 되기 위한

훌륭한 재능들은 늦게 성숙한다

그는 서서히 자랐다.

얼마나 그들의 마음은

우리의 마음보다

더 넓고 광활한가

참으로 훌륭한 지도자로서

마음을 어떻게 다스릴지 알게 되며

그는 자랐다.

너의 모든 염려를 주님께 드려라

그분께서 너의 손자녀들을 돌보시고 기르실 것이다.

오로지 하나님께 감사드려라

행복한 마음으로 기도드려라

소망 가운데 살아라

“주님의 사랑의 날개 아래”

나는 주님께서 인도하시는 곳으로 갈 것이다

나는 주님께서 계신 곳에 있을 것이다

나는 주님께서 거하시는 곳에 거할 것이다

태양은 얼마나 뜨거운가

비와 바람은 얼마나 강한가

눈보라는 얼마나 혹독한가

그러나 나는 주님의 날개 그늘 아래서 안전할 것이다.

나는 주님께서 명상하시는 곳에서 먕상할 것이다

나는 주님께서 일하시는 곳에서 일할 것이다

나는 주님께서 기도하시는 곳에서 기더할 것이다

나는 항상 기도 기뻐하고, 감사하고, 찬양하며 주님과 함께 살 것이다.

주님의 말씀은 내 길에 빛이요

기도는 내 마음에 호흡이 되나니

나는 주님의 은혜로 그의 능력 있는 일군이 되리라

주님께서 나의 소원을 이루어주시리

주님의 사랑이 나에게 능력 주시리

나는 능력으로 나를 인도하시는 주님께 감사드리며 찬양드립니다. 할렐루야!

1998년 9월 1일

신욱이와 신호가 식사하러 왔다. 나는 손자들이 잘 먹는 것을 보니 기뻤다.

나는 시장에 가서 채소와 올리브와 콩을 사왔다.

1998년 9월 2일

나는 손자들을 위해 포켓 브레드와 현미밥과 상추를 준비했다.

1998년 9월 3일

나는 손자들을 위해 국수와 살라드를 준비했다. 그들은 내일 바빠서 점심 먹으러 올 수 없다고 했다. 신호는 자기 형 신혁이를 방문하려 한다고 했다. 그는 그의 형수 사라가 믿음 있는 숙녀이고, 신혁이는 안식일마다 교회 잘 나가고, 일찍 자고 일찍 일어나며, 테니스도 치고, 규칙적으로 달리기도 한다고 했다. 그는 또한 집에서 열심히 일하며, 벽지를 바르고 마루 수리도 한다고 하였다. 그는 노동절 주말에 신호를 초청했다. 나는 신혁이와 사라가 결혼하여 행복한 삶을 살고 생활 습관을 향상시키고 있다는 소식을 들으니 대단히 기뻤다.

나는 쓰레기를 버리고 우체통을 열어보고 편지를 발견했다. 봉투의 필체가 아주 좋았는데, 누가 그 편지를 보냈을까 의아해 했다. 봉투를 열어보니 사라가 보낸 아름다운 카드가 들어있었다. 사라와 신혁이의 신혼 여행 좋은 사진과 그들의 소식을 적은 편지가 들어있었다. 사라는 내가 그들의 결혼 기념으로 만들어준 따뜻한 이불을 덮고 잠을 잘 잤다고 썼다. 사라는 내가 보낸 채소를 먹었다고 했다. 사라는 테이프와 책으로 한국어를 공부하는데 장차 한국어로 편지를 쓸 수 있기 바란다고 했다.

나는 감사와 사랑으로 충만한 다정한 편지를 읽으니 행복했고, 하나님의 선하심을 더욱 체험했다. 그래서 저녁에 함께 기도할 때, 그 편지와 사진을 나의 친구에게 보여주었다.

나의 손부에게서 사랑스러운 편지를 받던 날

나의 마음은 하나님의 은혜를 더욱 충만하게 깨닫고

나는 기쁜 마음으로 그 편지를 읽고 그 은혜를 간증한다.

“1998년 12월 9일”

요한복음 6장에 주님께서 대단히 중요한 진리를 말씀하셨는데, 나는 그것을 새롭게 깨달았다. 4장에서 나는 주님이 생명의 물이 되심을 배웠고, 6장에서 주님이 생명의 떡이 되심을 배웠다. 나는 이 진리를 빈틈 없이 인정한다.

생명의 물이 없이 내가 어떻게 살 수 있으랴?

나의 생명의 물이 되신 주님, 나의 생명의 떡이 되신 주 예수!

부디 우리에게 오사 영원히 우리와 함께 계시옵소서.

나의 주님께서 우리 각자의 마음에 오셔서

풍성한 생명의 물과 생명의 떡이 되시니

기쁘게 주님을 찬양하는 사람들은 얼마나 사랑스러운 백성들인가!

기도 후, 나는 장선생 가족과 이박사 부부에게 편지를 썼다. 장선생 가족에게는 편지를 보냈지만, A이박사 부부에게 보내는 편지는 내일 다시 써야겠다. 나는 그들이 다시 주님께 돌아오도록 기도드리고 있다고 말하려고 편지를 썼다.

나는 밖에서 걷기를 원했지만 만두 만들 재료를 준비하려고 돌아와서 귀주를 불렀다. 귀주가 와서 우리는 현미쌀과 채소와 밀가루 반죽과 만두 속에 넣을 것들을 준비해서 독우드 집으로 갔다. 거기서 우리는 점심을 먹고, 만두를 만들었다. 거기서 우리는 점심을 먹고, 만두를 만들었다. 손자들의 저녁 식사를 위해 튀긴 만두 만들 준비도 하고, 만두국 만들 준비도 했다. 나의 아파트로 돌아오니 벌써 7시였다. 나의 소그룹 기도회에 참석하기는 너무 늦었다. 책을 읽고 싶어서 열었지만, 온몸이 아팠다. 내가 운동을 하지 않은 것이 생각나서 스트레칭을 하고, 앉고 서기, 아령 들기를 하고 나니 훨씬 기분이 좋았다.

9시가 지났으므로 나는 안약을 눈에 넣고 잠자리에 들었다.

“1999년 1월 27일”

출애굽기 22:31 "너희는 내게 거룩한 사람이 될찌니"

"주님께 거룩한 사람이 될찌니" 라는 말씀은

세상과 구별된 삶을 살라는 의미이다.

세상을 향해 기울어진 마음을 바로잡자.

부디 바른 길로 걸어가도록 우리를 도와주시옵소서.

젊은이들의 마음 속에

주님의 사랑이 불타오르게 하소서

유혹을 이기고

유혹으로부터 주님께로 돌아서고

그들을 주님께로 인도하도록 도와주소서

그들로 하여금 용감한 전사들이 되도록 도와주소서

악한 권세에 의해 포로된 자들을 구출하도록

젊은이들을 무장하여 주소서

우리는 구별된 사람들

주님의 거룩한 백성들

주님의 일에 더욱 힘쓰도록 저희를 도와주소서

유혹의 맹렬한 파도가 온 누리에 밀어닥치는데

우리는 주님의 전사들로서 용감하게 싸우리이다.

시간이 긴급하니

일어나 준비하자.

“삶을 변화시키는 힘”

로마서 1:16

하나님께서는 우리가 변화되고 하나님의 자녀가 되며 구원받을 수 있다는 좋은 소식을 주셨다. 하나님의 은혜로 약한 자가 강한 자로, 어리석은 자가 지혜로운 자로, 비천한 자가 하나님의 자녀로, 가난한 자가 부자로, 변화될 수 있다. 죽은 영혼이 새 생명을 얻고, 중생을 경험할 수 있다. 그는 새로운 피조물이 되어 더 이상 과거처럼 살지 않게 된다. 그의 절망은 희망으로, 그의 슬픔은 기쁨으로 바뀐다. 그의 만가는 찬송이 되고, 모든 것이 새롭게 된다.

사랑하는 젊은이들이여! 그대들은 죽은 자에게 생명을 주는 이 능력을 체험하였는가? 그대들은 이 체험을 다른 사람들에게 나누어주었는가?

많은 젊은이들이 죽음의 길에서 달린다. 그들은 검은 열타 위에서 춤추며 법석을 떨고 있다. 그 검은 열차는 무덤으로 가고 있지만, 그들은 어디로 가는지 알지 못하고 있다.

젊은이들이여, 그대들은 무엇을 원하느냐? 죽음이냐 삶이냐, 저주냐 축복이냐, 어느 것을 그대들은 택하느냐? 하나님께 순종하는 자들은 축복을 받을 것이요, 불순종하는 자들은 저주를 받으리라. 이 단순한 진리는 화학 공식보다 더 분명하다.

사랑하는 젊은이들이여! 생명수의 근원이신 주 예수님께로 돌아오라! 복음과 변화의 능력에 의해 새로운 사람이 되라. 영혼들을 주님께로 인도하도록 그대들의 생생한 경험을 가지고 나아가라!

"나를 따라오너라. 내가 너희로 사람을 낚는 어부가 되게 하리라." ( 마태복음 4:19)

이 말씀이 그대들의 삶에 성취도리라.

주 예수님께서 너희와 함께 계시고 힘을 주시리라.

“신호가 흰 머리카락을 가지고 나타났을 때”

나의 손자들 중에 머리털을 염색하는 손자들이 있었다. 노랑 머리, 붉은 머리로 염색하고 나타나는 손자들이 있었다. 이제 한 손자가 흰 머리털로 염색하고 나타난 것이었다. 나는 할 말을 잃었다. 나는 그가 귀고리를 달고 세상 풍속을 따라가는 것을 보니 너무 슬펐다. 그는 훨씬 나의 영향력 밖에 있는 것 같았다.

나의 손자들이 읽고 있는 잡지 표지에 있는 사람들의 머리와 옷과 장식품들을 보니 이상 야릇했다. 젊은이들은 그들이 최신 유행을 따른다고 생각하는 것 같았다. 그러나 내가 그 잡지들을 볼 때마다 나는 그책들을 쓰레기 통에 버리고 싶었고, 못본척 하기가 너무나 힘들었다.

그것들은 나의 손자들의 책이었고, 내가 그 책들을 그들의 허락 없이 쓰레기 통에 버리면, 그들은 나를 적으로 생각하고, 나에게 마음을 닫을지도 모른다고 생각했다. 참고 또 참아야지, 주님께서 나의 기도를 들으시고, 무엇이 선하고 무엇이 악한지 그들이 분별할 수 있도록 그들의 마음에 역사하시리라. 나는 주님의 뜻이 그들에게 이루어지기까지 인내를 연습하며 기다리리라.

나는 나의 손자녀들이 나의 스승들이라고 나에게 말한다. 내가 참을성이 없고 편협한 마음을 가지고 있기 때문에 주님께서 나의 손자녀들을 도구로 사용하셔서 나의 성품을 단련하시고, 다른 사람을 용서하고, 그들이 잘못할지라도 있는대로 용납하도록 가르치신다.

한 계단 한 계단, 나는 우리가 아무리 잘못하더라도 한없이 우리를 용서하시는 하나님의 자비를 배우고 있다.

오래지 않아 신호는 머리털을 다시 검은색으로 염색했다. 머리털을 너무 자주 염색하는 것은 좋지 않은데 하고 나는 걱정했다.

*하나님의 은혜는 얼마나 놀라운지, 이 미숙하던 고등학생이 자라서 종교학 석사 학위를 수료하고, 법대를 졸업하고 변호사가 되었다. 우리는 항상 믿음의 눈으로 바라보고, 하나님께서 이 젊은이들의 마음에 심은 믿음의 씨앗이 확실히 발아하고 자라 큰 나무가 되고, 하나님의 사업을 위한 도구들이 될 것을 믿는 믿음의 눈으로 바라보아야 한다. 하나님의 사랑은 놀랍도다! 할렐루야!

가장 사랑하는 할머니,

74세 생일을 축하드립니다. 할머니께서 자에게 보여주신 모든 사랑과 친절에 감사드립니다. 이 비타민과 무기질이 할머니께서 예수님 재림하실 때까지 사시도록 도움이 되기 바랍니다. 할머니를 사랑합니다.

할머니의 손자

신호

사랑하는 할머니,

할머니의 모든 사랑과 도움에 감사드립니다. 저는 이렇게도 친절하고, 인내하며, 돌보아주시는 할머니가 계셔서 축복받았다고 느낌니다. 할머니께서 저를 위해 주신 많은 기도와 음식들을 잊지 못할 것입니다. 저는 제가 자라가면서 더 좋은 그리스도인이 될 것을 압니다. 금년이 지난 모든 해들보다 더 행복한 해가 되기 바라며, 할머니께서 계속해서 행복하시고, 거룩하시고, 건강하시기 바랍니다. 정말 좋은 이 날에 하나님께서 할머니께 복을 주시기 바랍니다. 생일 축하합니다!!!

사랑하는,

신호

사랑하는 할머니,

주님의 사랑으로 큰 복을 받으시고, 주님을 향한 할머니의 믿음에 보상을 받으시기를 기도드립니다. 당신은 세계에서 가장 위대한 할머니이십니다. 당신의 빛을 계속 비추시고 하나님의 말씀을 영원토록 전파하소서. 행복한 어머니날이 되기를 기도드립니다.

사랑하는

당신의 손자, 김신호

* 신호는 사랑하는 편지와 말씀으로 항상 나를 위로해준다.

사랑하는 할머니,

할머니는 항상 저를 많이 사랑해주시고 생각이 깊으셨읍니다. 할머니의 사랑고 보살펴주심에 저는 진심으로 감사드립니다. 저는 할머니께서 장차 저를 자랑스럽게 여기시기 바라며, 할머니의 건강과 행복을 위해 계속 기도할 것입니다.

사랑하는,

신호

사랑하는 할머니,

세상에서 최고의 할머니이시니 너무나 감사합니다. 할머니는 가장 훌륭한 요리사이십니다. 여러 해 동안 할머니께 스트레스를 많이 드려서 죄송합니다. 더욱 순종하고 하나님과 가까운 관계를 가지도록 힘쓰겠읍니다.

사랑하는,

신호

"네 마음의 소원대로 허락하시고

네 모든 도모를 이루시기를 원하노라.

우리가 너의 승리로 인하여 개가를 부르며

우리 하나님의 이름으로 우리 기를 세우리니

여호와께서 네 모든 기도를 이루시기를 원하노라." (Psalms 20:4,5)

사랑하는 할머니,

할머니의 지속적인 사랑과 기도에 감사드립니다. 할머니께서 준비해주신 아주 좋은 음식들이 제가 튼튼하고 건강하도록 도와주었으니, 대단히 감사합니다. 할머니의 모본은 그리스도를 향한 저의 여정에 계속 영감을 주었읍니다. 저의 생애에 할머니께서 베푸신 모든 것을 인하여 감사드립니다. 이 대단히 특별한 날에 축하드립니다. 해피 벌쓰 데이!

사랑하는,

신호

할머니,

행복한 어머니날 되기 바랍니다! 할머니께서 요즘 아주 잘 지내시기 바랍니다. 저에게 진정한 모본이 되어주셔서 감사합니다. 할머니의 기도와 그리스도인 삶의 모본은 저에게 여러해를 지나며 영감을 주었읍니다. 할머니께서 계속해서 겸손하게 하나님을 섬기셨으므로 하나님께서 우리 가족을 축복하셨읍니다. 할머니께서 하신 모든 일로 인해 저는 대단히 감사합니다.

사랑하는,

신호

할머니,

생일 축하드립니다!!! 하나님께서 할머니에게 건강하고 행복하게 장수하시도록 계속해서 복주시기를 기도드립니다. 이렇게 훌륭한 할머니와 좋은 친구를 당신 안에서 소유하게 된 저는 너무나 행복하고 운이 좋습니다. 할머니의 지속적인 기도와 희생과 매일의 그리스도인 삶의 모본은 진실로 우리 가족에게 축복이 되었고 저에게 영감을 주었읍니다. 저는 할머니처럼 하나님을 알고 충성된 증인이 되기를 소망합니다. 할머니는 세계에서 가장 좋은 할머니이십니다. 할머니께서 저에게 베푸신 모든 것을 인해 감사드립니다.

사랑하는,

신호

사랑하는 할머니,

행복한 생일 되시기 바랍니다!!! 할머님 곁에 가서 생을 축하해드리지 못해 죄송합니다. 제가 이사온 후, 할머니를 방문하고 할머니와 함께 대화하지 못해 참 서운합니다. 법과 대학 생활 잘 하고 있읍니다. 하나님께서 계속해서 저를 축복해주시고 저의 기도를 들어주신다고 믿습니다. 할머니를 속히 뵙과 할머니께서 만들어주시는 좋은 음식을 벅고 싶습니다. 부디 저를 위해 계속 기도해주세요. 하나님께서 할머니에게 건강과 행복으로 풍성하게 축복해주시기를 기도드립니다.

사랑하는,

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작성일 2015.02.23 22:05

Grandma and Grandchildren Part 6 My Grandson, Benjamin

“Prayer of Intercession”

I awoke at midnight -
Some memories come to mind . . .
Beside my bed I kneel
And build up my altar for prayer.

A mother's fullness of heart
Wrote these names down
I hold up the names in my hand
And I pray to the Lord.

May He open the gates in heaven!
Joyful waves rush into my heart;
God is merciful to His children,
Saving them amidst the perilous billows.

My prayer becomes sweet incense
Reaching to the Lord in heaven,
My tears become vapor
Laid up in heaven's bottles.

“Nov. 15, 1994”

I raked the leaves today. I wanted the children to help me, but nobody responded, so I asked God for help and worked quite a long time, even after the sun went down and it became dark outside. He heard my prayers and helped me. I was very happy and soon the work became joyful to me. I reminisced about my childhood and youth, and I could understand my grandchildren. Suddenly, love for my grandchildren swept over me like a wave and I thanked God for giving me these children and for giving me good health. I worked eagerly. I felt that the Lord was beside me helping me, and my heart was full of gratitude. Talking with Him, I was able to finish the work more efficiently than I thought. I am so thankful to God.

“Grandma makes a Gourmand”

Ben always praises others. He used to tell me, "Lillian’s restaurant is the best."
While gesturing he exclaimed, "Grandma makes a gourmand.”
Until today, I misunderstood this word to mean exceeding praise for me. I thought that gourmand meant the finest food. However, today I looked it up in the dictionary and found that gourmand is an abbreviation of gormandizer meaning 'big eater.” How funny! It makes me wonder, am I responsible for him being overweight? He had told me before that I had cooked too much for him.

“Ben’s Grand Voice”

Ben has a grand voice. When he sings, his big but soft voice is very nice to listen to. His kind and gentle words comfort others. When I listen to him speaking, I feel like all the problems will be solved. His mother wanted her youngest son to be a pastor, someone who would spread the gospel, but he went to law school after he finished the seminary. Before he graduated from the seminary, he practiced a sermon in front of me. I was sitting on the sofa while he preached and when he finished, I was so touched that an Amen came out of me automatically. I felt that he had indeed received talents to be an evangelist.
I pray that he will be a lay evangelist who does great work for the Lord, like Pastor Knechtle, who was the main speaker at the Eastern Korean Camp-meeting. On the last night of camp-meeting, after Pastor Knechtle had spoken, people came forward one by one to the podium and devoted themselves to the Lord with tears. I cannot forget that moment and I wish Ben could be such a lay pastor and devote himself to God.
I believe that this will be possible only if he surrenders his heart to God. I heard that in law school, in one of his oral tests, all the other students except for him were told their mistakes. When he finished his test, the professor said, "I was so mesmerized by your speech that I couldn't find any mistakes!"
I pray that he devotes his life to God and becomes a useful worker of God and that his talents are used in ministry!
            Ben worked at the University Broadcasting station. He had many fans who liked him. They liked his voice. His mother wanted one of her three sons to become a pastor and she hoped Ben would become a pastor. But it didn’t turn out that way. He studied theology but became a lawyer. I believe he lives a good Christian life, accepting God’s will every day. I pray for him. I live a happy Christian life praising the Lord, who saved me and my grandchildren.

“Now is the Time”
Dec. 15, 1994

Hosea 10:12 "Sow to yourselves in righteousness, reap in memory; break up your fallow ground ; for it is time to seek the LORD, till he comes and rains righteousness upon you"

Lord, now is the time
To seek You
Help us to realize that;

Those miserable souls
Locked in a crucible of temptation
Find no way out—
I don't know what to do

O Lord, do not forsake them
Send them Your glorious beam
Please send a light upon those
Covered with the dark smoke of worldly pleasure.

In their dim consciousness
Please let them hear Your voice
Your beautiful voice like heavenly music

Jesus, Lord of love!
Please pour down Your righteousness like rain
Soften their hardened hearts

With the plow of the Holy Spirit, cultivate their hearts
Plant the seed of thy love
Let them grow in thy sunshine of righteousness and thy rain of grace

Lord, with thy infinite love
Wake up the sleeping souls
Help them prepare for the Lord's Day –
I give thanks to You.

“July 10, 1995”

During the summer vacation, there are many hard days.
The boys get up late,
Noisy music and TV constantly on.
My ears are sore. The eardrums may be damaged.
Everyday, sorrow and pain fill my heart.
Only He knows the deep sorrow in my heart.

What I see and hear, all bring anguish to my heart.
I understand the prophet Jeremiah's heart.
I go through difficult days of shedding tears and praying.

Only He knows my heart and soothes me.
Sometimes I feel like falling down to the ground with despair.
But before His presence I kneel down and receive new strength.

He lives and always considers my heart.
He didn't spare His comfort and encouragement; He gave me rest.
Without Him, I can't live even a moment.

Lord, everyday I depend on you.
Please make them new persons by Your love.
Save these poor children, O Lord!

“Unknowingly Grew up”

Unknowingly
They grew up

We think children are foolish
But they are not

Great talents mature late
To be a greater person
He grew up slowly

How much more
Wide and expansive are their minds
Than ours

Indeed as a great leader
Knowing how to deal with minds
He grew up

Cast all your worries upon the Lord
He will care for your grandchildren and bring them up

Give thanks only to God
Be happy and pray
Live in hope.

“Under the wings of His love”

I will go where my Lord leads
I will be where my Lord presents
I will be where my Lord abides.

How hot is the sun
How strong the rain and the wind!
How harsh the snowstorm –
I will be safe under the shadow of His wings.

I will meditate where the Lord meditates
I will work where the Lord works
I will pray where the Lord prays
I will always live with my Lord with joy, thanksgiving and praise

His Word is the light on my path
Prayer becomes the breath of my heart
I will be His able worker by the grace of my Lord.

The Lord will accomplish my wish
The Lord's love will make me able
I will give thanks and praise my Lord, who leads me with strength. Hallelujah!

Sept, 1, 1998
Andy and Ben came over for a meal. I was glad to see my grandchildren eating so well. I went to the market and bought some vegetables, olives and beans.

Sept 2, 1998
I prepared pocket bread, brown rice and lettuce for my grandchildren.

Sept 3, 1998
I prepared noodle and salad for my grandchildren. They said they would not come for lunch tomorrow, because they are going to fast. Ben is going to visit his brother Alex. He said that his sister-in-law Eliza is a wonderful lady and that Alex attends church regularly, goes to bed early and gets up early, plays tennis and jogs regularly. He also works hard at home, putting up wall papers and repairing the floor. He invited Ben for Labor Day weekend. I was very happy to hear about Alex and Eliza married and living happy lives and improving their life styles.
I dumped the garbage and opened the mail box and found a letter. The handwriting on the envelope looked elegant, and I wondered who had sent me the letter. I opened the envelope and found a pretty card from Eliza. She had sent a nice picture of her and Alex’s honeymoon as well as a beautiful note kindly updating me with their news.    She wrote that they slept well with the warm blanket that I had made for them as a wedding gift. She said she ate the vegetables which I had sent to her. She wrote that was studying Korean with tapes and books and hopes to write a letter to me in Korean in the near future.
I was so happy to read this nice letter, filled and written with thanksgiving and love, and I further experienced God’s goodness through it. Therefore I showed the letter and picture to my friends when we prayed together in the evening.

The day I received a lovely letter from my granddaughter-in-law
My heart realized the grace of God more fully
And I read the letter gladly to share that grace.

“Dec 9, 1998”

In the book of John chapter 6, the Lord said a very important truth and I realize it anew. In chapter 4, I learned that the Lord is the Water of Life, and in chapter 6, that the Lord is the Bread of Life. I keenly acknowledge these truths.

Without Water or Bread, how could I live?
Lord, my Living Water, Lord Jesus, my Living Bread
Please come to us and stay with us forever.

My Lord arrived at each of our hearts
As living Water and living Bread abundantly
People gladly praise Him, and what loving people they are!

            After prayer, I wrote letters to the Chang family and to Dr. and Mrs. Lee. I sent the letter to the Chang's but I will rewrite the letter for Dr. and Mrs. Lee and send it tomorrow. I wrote to say that I am praying for them to come back to Jesus.
I wanted to walk outside but came back and prepared materials to make dumplings and called Rachel. She came and we took brown rice, vegetables, flour dough and the filling for dumplings and went to Dogwood. There, we ate lunch and after eating, we made the dumplings. We prepared fried dumplings and dumpling soup for dinner for the grandchildren. When I came back to my apartment, it was already after 7 p.m. It was too late to attend my small group prayer meeting. I wanted to read a book and opened it but I felt pain all over my body. I reminded myself that I hadn’t exercised, so I did some stretches, sit-ups and weight-lifting and felt much better. It was past 9 p.m. and I put eye drops in my eye and prayed and went to bed.

“January 27, 1999”

Exodus 22:31 "You are to be my holy people"

"To be holy people to the Lord"
Means to live differently from the world

Let the heart that is inclined to the world be straightened
Please help us to walk in the right way

In the heart of young people
May His love be kindled up

Conquer temptation
Turn to the Lord from temptation
And help me guide them to the Lord

Help them to be valiant warriors
To bring out those who are captured by the evil power
Please arm the young people

We are distinguished men
The Lord's holy people
Please help us to put more efforts in His work

Fierce waves of temptation surge all around
We are warriors of the Lord, we will fight bravely
The time is imminent
Let us wake up and be ready

“The Power of Changing Lives”
Rom 1:16

God gave us the good news so that we could be changed to become children of God and be saved. Weak persons become strong, foolish ones become wise, lowly persons become God's children, poor ones become rich, all by the grace of God! A dead soul receives new life, experiencing rebirth. He becomes a new creation and no longer lives like he did in the past. His despair changes to hope, his sadness into joy.   A dirge becomes praise and all becomes new.
Dear young people! Did you experience this power that gives life to the dead? Do you share the experience with others? Many young people run on the road of death. They are on a black train dancing and raising uproar. They don't know where they are going even though the train is running to the grave.
Young people, what do you want? Death or life, curses or blessings, which do you choose? Those who obey God will be given a blessing, those who disobey a curse. This plain reality is clearer than a chemistry formula.
Dear young men, come back to the Lord Jesus, the source of living water! By the Gospel and the power of change, become new persons. Go out with your vivid experiences and testify, leading souls to the Lord.

"Follow me and I will make you fishers of men." ( Matthew 4:19)
This word will be accomplished in your lives.
The Lord Jesus will be with you and give you strength.

“When Ben Appeared with White Hair”

My grandchildren used to dye their hairs. They would appear with yellow hair, red hair, etc. Now a grandson appeared with white hair. I was at a loss for words. I felt so sad seeing him wearing earrings and following the fashion of the world. He seemed to be well beyond my influence.
When I see the covers of the magazines that my grandchildren read, the hair styles, clothing and ornaments of the people on the cover look very odd. Young people may think that they are keeping the latest fashion. But, whenever I see those magazines, I feel like throwing them away and it is almost too much to ignore.
They are my grandchildren's books and if I throw them away without their permission, they might think of me as the enemy and close their minds to me. Endure, and endure; the Lord will hear my prayers and work in their minds to discern what is good and what is evil. I will wait practicing endurance until His will is done in them.
I tell myself that my grandchildren are my teachers. Because I lack endurance and have a narrow mind, the Lord uses my grandchildren as tools to train my character, teaching me to forgive others and accept them as they are, even if they are wrong.
Step by step, I am learning God's mercy that forgives us without limits no matter how much we do wrong.
            Before long, Ben dyed his hair back to black.   I worried that it was harmful to dye one’s hair too often.

*How amazing is God’s grace, that this immature high school student grew up to graduate from the seminary and law school, and is now a practicing lawyer! We must always see with eyes of faith, believing that the seeds of faith God planted in these youth surely do sprout and grow into tall trees, becoming instruments of His work. God’s love is amazing! Hallelujah!

Dearest Grandma,
Happy 74th birthday. Thank you for all the love and kindness you have shown me. I hope these vitamins and minerals will help you live until God comes again. I love you.

Your Grandson,
                      Ben

Dear Grandma,
Thank you for all your love and support. I feel so blessed to have such a kind, patient, and caring grandmother. The many prayers and meals you have given me will not be forgotten. I know that I will become a better Christian man as I mature. I hope this year is the best one yet and I pray that you will remain happy, holy and healthy. God bless you on this wonderful day. Happy Birthday!!

Love,
                        Ben

Dear Grandma,
May you be blessed greatly with the love of the Lord and be rewarded for your faith in Him. You are the greatest grandma in the world. Keep shining your light and spread the word of God forever. Happy Mother's Day.

Love,
Your Grandson, Ben Kim

* Ben always comforts me with loving letters and words

Dear Grandmother,
You have always been most loving and thoughtful to me. I truly appreciate all your love and care. I hope to make you proud someday and will continue to pray for your health and happiness.

Love,
Ben

Dear Grandmother,

            Thank you for being the best grandmother there is. You are the greatest cook ever. Sorry for all the stress I have caused over the years. I will try to be more obedient and have a close relationship with God.

Love,
Ben

"May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the Lord grand all your requests."(Psalms 20:4,5)

Dear Grandma,
Thank you for your constant love and prayers. The excellent meals you prepare for me have helped me become strong and healthy and I am very thankful. Your example has continued to inspire me on my own journey towards Christ. Thank you for everything you have done in my life. Congratulations on this very special day. Happy Birthday.

Love,
                          Ben

Grandma,
            Happy Mother's Day! I hope you are doing great these days. Thank you for being a true role model to me. Your prayers and Christian example have inspired me over the years. God has blessed our family because of the way you continually and humbly serve Him. I am very thankful for all you have done.

Love,
Ben

Grandma,
            Happy Birthday!!! May God continue to bless you with many more years of health and happiness. I am so happy and fortunate to have such a wonderful Grandmother and friend in you. Your continued prayers, sacrifices, and everyday Christian example have truly blessed this family and inspired me. I hope to know God and become a faithful witness as you have. You are the best grandmother in the whole world. Thank you for everything you have done for me.

Love,
Ben

Dear Grandma,
            Happy Birthday!!! I am sorry I can't be there to celebrate with you. I miss being able to visit and talk with you since I have moved. Law school is going well. I believe God is continually blessing me and answering my prayers. I hope to see you very soon and enjoy your wonderful cooking. Please continue to pray for me. May God bless you abundantly with health and happiness.

Love,
Ben

October 9, 2001

Dear Grandma,
Happy Birthday!!! Thank you for your continued prayers and never-ending support. I have enjoyed living with you and benefiting from your love and kindness. I hope you will continue to have health and happiness for many more years. I love you.

God Bless,
                        Ben

December 25, 2003

Dearest Grandmother,
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!! I am so thankful for such a beautiful and blessed Grandmother. Your many prayers have helped our family come ever closer to our Heavenly Father. You have been such a wonderful inspiration to me over the years as a faithful servant of Christ and a tireless worker to your neighbors. I feel very fortunate to be your grandson and I hope someday I can repay your loving kindness and constant encouragement. I love you very much, Grandma, and always will.

                       Love,
                       Ben

“On Mother's Day”

Dear Loving Grandmother,
Thank you for all that you have shown me throughout my life. You have been a great example of Christianity to me and a source of happiness as well. May God continue to bless your life richly and may he continue to keep you in good health. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful mother, too! Please continue to pray for me.

Love,
Ben

Dear Grandma,
I thank the Lord for blessing me with such an amazing Grandmother. All the love and dedication you have done to help me. All your prayers will be answered someday. I know that you will continually be blessed by God. I love you and congratulate you this day. Happy Birthday.

Ben

“On Mother's day 2003”

Dear Grandmother,
Thank you for showing me such love, patience, and wisdom my whole life. Your continual prayers on my behalf are working more each day. I will continue to become a more mature Christian thanks to wonderful people such as you. I hope you have an excellent trip to Korea. Thank you for all the hard work you have put in for me allowing me to become a future lawyer for God. Happy Mother's Day !

Love,
                        Ben

“May 8, 2004, On Mother's Day”

Grandma,
Thank you very much for all your love and support over the years. You have truly been a blessing to me and your life has been a shining example of how I want to live - a humble and passionate worker for Christ. You are an inspiration to all your grandchildren. I know that your prayers are working in my life. I am striving to become a better Christian and learning to submit myself to God's will daily. I love you very much and I hope to see you soon.

Love,
Ben

Dear Grandma,
            Thank you for all your love and support. I feel so blessed to have such a kind, patient, and caring grandmother. The many prayers and meals you have given me will not be forgotten. I know that I will become a better Christian man as I mature. I hope this year is the best one yet and I pray that you will remain happy, holy and healthy. God bless you on this wonderful day. Happy Birthday!!

Love,
                        Ben

Oct 9, 2005

Grandma,
Happy Birthday!! Grandma, thank you for all your loving kindness and prayers all these years. You have been a real inspiration to me through your humble Christian service. I pray that God will continue to bless you with health and happiness. You are the best Grandma in the world!! Once I find a job, I will come to your home so we can continue finishing your book on prayer. I love you, Grandma. Happy Birthday!!

Ben

Grandma,
Thank you for being such a wonderful Grandmother and friend over the years. I appreciate all your prayers for me. You are an inspiration to me because of your close relationship to Christ. Happy Mother's Day!

Love,
Ben

May 8, 2005
Grandma,
Hello, Happy Mother's Day! You are the greatest grandmother. Thank you for praying for me. When I graduate, I will help you write a book. Grandma, thank you for everything you have done for me. Your constant prayers, wise advice, and loving kindness are greatly appreciated. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day. May God bless you with health and happiness.

With all my love,
Ben


*Ben’s engagement to Deborah gave me great joy. They will marry on Nov 2, 2008. Thankfulness overflows in my heart. I have been praying continuously for Ben’s wedding because he was the only single one among my grandchildren. I expected Ben to marry this year and prepared a beautiful quilt as a wedding gift. I praise the Lord for answering my prayer. When I met Deborah for first time, I found that she was humble and affectionate, and I believed she was a daughter of God sent to our family. Praise the Lord!!!
***The Joy of Living with Jesus***Every 3 o’clock at dawn I woke up, prayed, and read the bible.
I wrote poems for the Lord, scheduled my daily plans of living with Jesus, and lived always with happiness and gratefulness in a shipshape manner for God.
It seemed like there was nothing bothering between me and God.
Even though I was poor and lived in a room that was -3C and had to wrap myself up with the blanket, I was happy, more than ever.
Once a beloved wife that all the village people had adored, I was called a truly lucky woman at that time.
Will I be able to compare the happiness between now and then?
It was infinite happiness that no one will understand. Day by day, the peace of mind came from giving all my burdens to the Lord. Trusting in him gave me happiness that I couldn’t get from anywhere else.
By the grace of heaven, I lived with the fountain of life which filled me inside.

***Lilian Chung "Into the Glorious Light" Part 4***

Grandma and Grandchildren  Part 6  My Grandson, Benjamin

“Prayer of Intercession”
 
I awoke at midnight -
Some memories come to mind . . . 
Beside my bed I kneel
And build up my altar for prayer.
 
A mother's fullness of heart
Wrote these names down
I hold up the names in my hand
And I pray to the Lord.
 
May He open the gates in heaven!
Joyful waves rush into my heart;
God is merciful to His children,
Saving them amidst the perilous billows.
 
My prayer becomes sweet incense
Reaching to the Lord in heaven,
My tears become vapor
Laid up in heaven's bottles.
 
 
“Nov. 15, 1994”
 
I raked the leaves today.  I wanted the children to help me, but nobody responded, so I asked God for help and worked quite a long time, even after the sun went down and it became dark outside.  He heard my prayers and helped me.  I was very happy and soon the work became joyful to me.  I reminisced about my childhood and youth, and I could understand my grandchildren.  Suddenly, love for my grandchildren swept over me like a wave and I thanked God  for giving me these children and for giving me good health.  I worked eagerly.  I felt that the Lord was beside me helping me, and my heart was full of gratitude. Talking with Him, I was able to finish the work more efficiently than I thought.  I am so thankful to God.

“Grandma makes a Gourmand”

Ben always praises others.  He used to tell me, "Lillian’s restaurant is the best."
While gesturing he exclaimed, "Grandma makes a gourmand.”
Until today, I misunderstood this word to mean exceeding praise for me.  I thought that gourmand meant the finest food.  However, today I looked it up in the dictionary and found that gourmand is an abbreviation of gormandizer meaning 'big eater.”  How funny!  It makes me wonder, am I responsible for him being overweight?  He had told me before that I had cooked too much for him.
 
 
“Ben’s Grand Voice”
 
Ben has a grand voice.  When he sings, his big but soft voice is very nice to listen to.  His kind and gentle words comfort others. When I listen to him speaking, I feel like all the problems will be solved.  His mother wanted her youngest son to be a pastor, someone who would spread the gospel, but he went to law school after he finished the seminary. Before he graduated from the seminary, he practiced a sermon in front of me.  I was sitting on the sofa while he preached and when he finished, I was so touched that an Amen came out of me automatically.  I felt that he had indeed received talents to be an evangelist.
I pray that he will be a lay evangelist who does great work for the Lord, like Pastor Knechtle, who was the main speaker at the Eastern Korean Camp-meeting.  On the last night of camp-meeting, after Pastor Knechtle had spoken, people came forward one by one to the podium and devoted themselves to the Lord with tears.  I cannot forget that moment and I wish Ben could be such a lay pastor and devote himself to God.
I believe that this will be possible only if he surrenders his heart to  God. I heard that in law school, in one of his oral tests, all the other students except for him were told their mistakes.  When he finished his test, the professor said, "I was so mesmerized by your speech that I couldn't find any mistakes!"
I pray that he devotes his life to God and becomes a useful worker of God and that his talents are used in ministry!         
            Ben worked at the University Broadcasting station. He had many fans who  liked him. They liked his voice. His mother wanted one of her three sons to become a pastor and she hoped Ben would become a pastor. But it  didn’t turn out that way. He studied theology but became a lawyer. I  believe he lives a good Christian life, accepting God’s will every day.  I pray for him. I live a happy Christian life praising the Lord, who saved me and my grandchildren.
 
 
“Now is the Time”
Dec. 15, 1994
 
Hosea 10:12 "Sow to yourselves in righteousness, reap in memory; break up  your fallow ground ; for it is time to seek the LORD, till he comes and  rains righteousness upon you"
 
Lord, now is the time
To seek You
Help us to realize that;
 
Those miserable souls 
Locked in a crucible of temptation
Find no way out—
I don't know what to do
 
O Lord, do not forsake them
Send them Your glorious beam
Please send a light upon those
Covered with the dark smoke of worldly pleasure.
 
In their dim consciousness
Please let them hear Your voice
Your beautiful voice like heavenly music
 
Jesus, Lord of love!
Please pour down Your righteousness like rain
Soften their hardened hearts
 
With the plow of the Holy Spirit, cultivate their hearts
Plant the seed of thy love
Let them grow in thy sunshine of righteousness and thy rain of grace
 
Lord, with thy infinite love
Wake up the sleeping souls 
Help them prepare for the Lord's Day –
I give thanks to You.
 
 
 
“July 10, 1995”
 
During the summer vacation, there are many hard days.
The boys get up late,
Noisy music and TV constantly on.
My ears are sore.  The eardrums may be damaged.
Everyday, sorrow and pain fill my heart.
Only He knows the deep sorrow in my heart.
 
What I see and hear, all bring anguish to my heart.
I understand the prophet Jeremiah's heart.
I go through difficult days of shedding tears and praying.
 
Only He knows my heart and soothes me.
Sometimes I feel like falling down to the ground with despair.
But before His presence I kneel down and receive new strength.
 
He lives and always considers my heart.
He didn't spare His comfort and encouragement; He gave me rest.
Without Him, I can't live even a moment.
 
Lord, everyday I depend on you.
Please make them new persons by Your love.
Save these poor children, O Lord!
 
 
 
“Unknowingly Grew up”
 
Unknowingly
They grew up
 
We think children are foolish 
But they are not
 
Great talents mature late
To be a greater person
He grew up slowly
 
How much more
Wide and expansive are their minds
Than ours
 
Indeed as a great leader
Knowing how to deal with minds
He grew up
 
Cast all your worries upon the Lord
He will care for your grandchildren and bring them up
 
Give thanks only to God
Be happy and pray 
Live in hope.
 
 
“Under the wings of His love”
 
I will go where my Lord leads
I will be where my Lord presents
I will be where my Lord abides.
 
How hot is the sun
How strong the rain and the wind!
How harsh the snowstorm –
I will be safe under the shadow of His wings.
 
I will meditate where the Lord meditates
I will work where the Lord works
I will pray where the Lord prays
I will always live with my Lord with joy, thanksgiving and praise
 
His Word is the light on my path
Prayer becomes the breath of my heart
I will be His able worker by the grace of my Lord.
 
The Lord will accomplish my wish
The Lord's love will make me able
I will give thanks and praise my Lord, who leads me with strength.  Hallelujah! 
 
 
Sept, 1, 1998
Andy and Ben came over for a meal. I was glad to see my grandchildren eating so well. I went to the market and bought some vegetables, olives and  beans.
 
Sept 2, 1998
I prepared pocket bread, brown rice and lettuce for my grandchildren.
 
Sept 3, 1998
I prepared noodle and salad for my grandchildren. They said they would  not come for lunch tomorrow, because they are going to fast. Ben is  going to visit his brother Alex.  He said that his sister-in-law Eliza is a wonderful lady and that Alex  attends church regularly, goes to bed early and gets up early, plays  tennis and jogs regularly. He also works hard at home, putting up wall  papers and repairing the floor. He invited Ben for Labor Day weekend.  I was very happy to hear about Alex and Eliza married and living happy lives and improving their life styles. 
I dumped the garbage and opened the mail box and found a letter. The  handwriting on the envelope looked elegant, and I wondered who had sent  me the letter.  I opened the  envelope and found a pretty card from Eliza. She had sent a nice picture of her and Alex’s honeymoon as well as a beautiful note kindly updating me with their news.    She wrote  that they slept well with the warm blanket that I had made for them as a wedding gift. She said she ate the vegetables which I had sent to her.  She wrote that was studying Korean with tapes and books and hopes to  write a letter to me in Korean in the near future. 
I was so happy to read this nice letter, filled and written with  thanksgiving and love, and I further experienced God’s goodness through  it. Therefore I showed the letter and picture to my friends when we  prayed together in the evening. 
 
The day I received a lovely letter from my granddaughter-in-law
My heart realized the grace of God more fully 
And I read the letter gladly to share that grace.
 
 
 
“Dec 9, 1998”
 
In the book of John chapter 6, the Lord said a very important truth and I realize it anew.  In chapter 4, I learned that the Lord is the Water of Life, and in chapter 6, that the Lord is the Bread of Life.  I keenly acknowledge these truths.
 
Without Water or Bread, how could I live?
Lord, my Living Water, Lord Jesus, my Living Bread 
Please come to us and stay with us forever.
 
My Lord arrived at each of our hearts
As living Water and living Bread abundantly
People gladly praise Him, and what loving people they are!
 
            After prayer, I wrote letters to the Chang family and to Dr. and Mrs. Lee.  I sent the letter to the Chang's but I will rewrite the letter for Dr. and Mrs. Lee and send it tomorrow.  I wrote to say that I am praying for them to come back to Jesus.     
I wanted to walk outside but came back and prepared materials to make dumplings and called Rachel.  She came and we took brown rice, vegetables, flour dough and the filling for dumplings and went to Dogwood.  There, we ate lunch and after eating, we made the dumplings. We prepared fried dumplings and dumpling soup for dinner for the grandchildren.  When I came back to my apartment, it was already after 7 p.m.  It was too late to attend my small group prayer meeting.  I wanted to read a book and opened it but I felt pain all over my body.  I reminded myself that I hadn’t exercised, so I did some stretches, sit-ups and weight-lifting and felt much better.  It was past 9 p.m. and I put eye drops in my eye and prayed and went to bed.
 
 
“January 27, 1999”
 
Exodus 22:31 "You are to be my holy people"
 
"To be holy people to the Lord" 
Means to live differently from the world
 
Let the heart that is inclined to the world be straightened
Please help us to walk in the right way
 
In the heart of young people
May His love be kindled up
 
Conquer temptation
Turn to the Lord from temptation
And help me guide them to the Lord
 
Help them to be valiant warriors
To bring out those who are captured by the evil power
Please arm the young people
 
We are distinguished men
The Lord's holy people 
Please help us to put more efforts in His work
 
Fierce waves of temptation surge all around
We are warriors of the Lord, we will fight bravely
The time is imminent 
Let us wake up and be ready
 
 
 
“The Power of Changing Lives” 
Rom 1:16
 
God gave us the good news so that we could be changed to become children of God and be saved.  Weak persons become strong, foolish ones become wise, lowly persons become  God's children, poor ones become rich, all by the grace of God!  A dead soul receives new life, experiencing rebirth.  He becomes a new creation and no longer lives like he did in the past. His despair changes to hope, his sadness into joy.   A dirge becomes praise and all becomes new.
Dear young people!  Did you experience this power that gives life to the dead?  Do you share the experience with others?  Many young people run on the road of death.  They are on a black train dancing and raising uproar.  They don't know where they are going even though the train is running to the grave.  
Young people, what do you want?  Death or life, curses or blessings, which do you choose?  Those who obey God will be given a blessing, those who disobey a curse.  This plain reality is clearer than a chemistry formula.
Dear young men, come back to the Lord Jesus, the source of living water!  By the Gospel and the power of change, become new persons.  Go out with your vivid experiences and testify, leading souls to the Lord.
 
"Follow me and I will make you fishers of men." ( Matthew 4:19)
This word will be accomplished in your lives.
The Lord Jesus will be with you and give you strength.  
 
 
 
“When Ben Appeared with White Hair”
 
My grandchildren used to dye their hairs.  They would appear with yellow hair, red hair, etc.  Now a grandson appeared with white hair.  I was at a loss for words.  I felt so sad seeing him wearing earrings and following the fashion of the world.  He seemed to be well beyond my influence.  
When I see the covers of the magazines that my grandchildren read, the hair  styles, clothing and ornaments of the people on the cover look very odd.  Young people may think that they are keeping the latest fashion.  But, whenever I see those magazines, I feel like throwing them away and it is almost too much to ignore.  
They are my grandchildren's books and if I throw them away without their  permission, they might think of me as the enemy and close their minds to me.  Endure, and endure; the Lord will hear my prayers and work in their minds to discern what is good and what is evil.  I will wait practicing endurance until His will is done in them.
I tell myself that my grandchildren are my teachers.  Because I lack endurance and have a narrow mind, the Lord uses my grandchildren as tools to train my character, teaching me to forgive others and  accept them as they are, even if they are wrong.  
Step by step, I am learning God's mercy that forgives us without limits no matter how much we do wrong.
            Before long, Ben dyed his hair back to black.   I worried that it was harmful to dye one’s hair too often.
 
*How amazing is God’s grace, that this immature high school student grew up  to graduate from the seminary and law school, and is now a practicing  lawyer!  We must always see with eyes of faith, believing that the seeds of faith  God planted in these youth surely do sprout and grow into tall trees,  becoming instruments of His work.  God’s love is amazing!  Hallelujah!
 
 
Dearest Grandma,
Happy 74th birthday.  Thank you for all the love and kindness you have shown me.  I hope these vitamins and minerals will help you live until God comes again.  I love you.
                             
Your Grandson,
                        Ben 
 
Dear Grandma,
Thank you for all your love and support.  I feel so blessed to have such a kind, patient, and caring grandmother.  The many prayers and meals you have given me will not be forgotten.  I know that I will become a better Christian man as I mature.  I hope this year is the best one yet and I pray that you will remain happy, holy and healthy.  God bless you on this wonderful day.  Happy Birthday!!          
                                         
Love,
                        Ben                            
 
Dear Grandma,
May you be blessed greatly with the love of the Lord and be rewarded for your faith in Him.  You are the greatest grandma in the world.  Keep shining your light and spread the word of God forever.  Happy Mother's Day.
          
Love,
Your Grandson, Ben Kim
 
* Ben always comforts me with loving letters and words
 
 
Dear Grandmother,
You have always been most loving and thoughtful to me.  I truly appreciate all your love and care.  I hope to make you proud someday and will continue to pray for your health and happiness. 
         
Love, 
Ben
 
 
Dear Grandmother,
 
            Thank you for being the best grandmother there is. You are the greatest cook ever.  Sorry for all the stress I have caused over the years.  I will try to be more obedient and have a close relationship with God.
                     
Love, 
Ben
 
 
"May he give you the desire of your heart
 and make all your plans succeed.  
We will shout for joy when you are victorious
 and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.  
May the Lord grand all your requests."(Psalms 20:4,5)
 
Dear Grandma,
Thank you for your constant love and prayers.  The excellent meals you prepare for me have helped me become strong and healthy and I am very thankful.  Your example has continued to inspire me on my own journey towards Christ.  Thank you for everything you have done in my life.  Congratulations on this very special day. Happy Birthday.
                          
Love,
                          Ben
 
 
Grandma, 
            Happy Mother's Day!  I hope you are doing great these days.  Thank you for being a true role model to me. Your prayers and Christian example have inspired me over the years.  God has blessed our family because of the way you continually and humbly serve Him.  I am very thankful for all you have done. 
                    
Love,     
Ben
 
 
Grandma,
            Happy Birthday!!!  May God continue to bless you with many more years of health and happiness.  I am so happy and fortunate to have such a wonderful Grandmother and friend in you.  Your continued prayers, sacrifices, and everyday Christian example have truly blessed this family and inspired me.  I hope to know God and become a faithful witness as you have.  You are the best grandmother in the whole world.  Thank you for everything you have done for me.
                          
Love,   
Ben
 
Dear Grandma,
            Happy Birthday!!! I am sorry I can't be there to celebrate with you.  I miss being able to visit and talk with you since I have moved.  Law school is going well.  I believe God is continually blessing me and answering my prayers.  I hope to see you very soon and enjoy your wonderful cooking.  Please continue to pray for me.  May God bless you abundantly with health and happiness.
                        
Love,    
Ben
 
October 9, 2001
 
Dear Grandma,                       
Happy Birthday!!!  Thank you for your continued prayers and never-ending support.  I have enjoyed living with you and benefiting from your love and kindness.  I hope you will continue to have health and happiness for many more years.  I love you.
 
God Bless,    
                        Ben  
 
December 25, 2003
 
Dearest Grandmother,
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!  I am so thankful for such a beautiful and blessed Grandmother.  Your many prayers have helped our family come ever closer to our Heavenly Father.  You have been such a wonderful inspiration to me over the years as a  faithful servant of Christ and a tireless worker to your neighbors.  I feel very fortunate to be your grandson and I hope someday I can repay  your loving kindness and constant encouragement. I love you very much,  Grandma, and always will.
 
                       Love,
                       Ben
 
 
 
 “On Mother's Day”
 
Dear Loving Grandmother,
Thank you for all that you have shown me throughout my life.  You have been a great example of Christianity to me and a source of happiness as well.  May God continue to bless your life richly and may he continue to keep you in good health.  Thank you for giving me such a wonderful mother, too!  Please continue to pray for me.
 
Love,
Ben
 
 
 
Dear Grandma, 
I thank the Lord for blessing me with such an amazing Grandmother.  All the love and dedication you have done to help me.  All your prayers will be answered someday.  I know that you will continually be blessed by God.  I love you and congratulate you this day.  Happy Birthday.
 
Ben
 
 
“On Mother's day 2003”
 
Dear Grandmother,
Thank you for showing me such love, patience, and wisdom my whole life.  Your continual prayers on my behalf are working more each day.  I will continue to become a more mature Christian thanks to wonderful people such as you.  I hope you have an excellent trip to Korea.  Thank you for all the hard work you have put in for me allowing me to become a future lawyer for God.  Happy Mother's Day ! 
                        
Love,
                        Ben
 
“May 8, 2004, On Mother's Day”
 
Grandma,
Thank you very much for all your love and support over the years.  You have truly been a blessing to me and your life has been a shining  example of how I want to live - a humble and passionate worker for  Christ.  You are an inspiration to all your grandchildren.  I know that your prayers are working in my life.  I am striving to become a better Christian and learning to submit myself to God's will daily.  I love you very much and I hope to see you soon.
               
Love, 
Ben
 
 
Dear Grandma,
            Thank you for all your love and support.  I feel so blessed to have such a kind, patient, and caring grandmother.  The many prayers and meals you have given me will not be forgotten.  I know that I will become a better Christian man as I mature.  I hope this year is the best one yet and I pray that you will remain happy, holy and healthy.  God bless you on this wonderful day.  Happy Birthday!!          
                                        
Love,
                        Ben                            
 
 
Oct 9, 2005
 
Grandma,
Happy Birthday!!  Grandma, thank you for all your loving kindness and prayers all these years.  You have been a real inspiration to me through your humble Christian service.  I pray that God will continue to bless you with health and happiness.  You are the best Grandma in the world!!  Once I find a job, I will come to your home so we can continue finishing your book on prayer.  I love you, Grandma. Happy Birthday!!
                            
Ben 
 
Grandma,
Thank you for being such a wonderful Grandmother and friend over the years.  I appreciate all your prayers for me.  You are an inspiration to me because of your close relationship to Christ.  Happy Mother's Day!
                                   
Love,  
Ben
 
May 8, 2005
Grandma,
Hello, Happy Mother's Day!  You are the greatest grandmother.  Thank you for praying for me.  When I graduate, I will help you write a book.  Grandma, thank you for everything you have done for me.  Your constant prayers, wise advice, and loving kindness are greatly appreciated.  I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day.  May God bless you with health and happiness. 
                  
With all my love, 
Ben
   
 
*Ben’s engagement to Deborah gave me great joy. They will marry on Nov 2,  2008. Thankfulness overflows in my heart. I have been praying  continuously for Ben’s wedding because he was the only single one among  my grandchildren.  I expected Ben to marry this year and prepared a beautiful quilt as a  wedding gift. I praise the Lord for answering my prayer. When I met  Deborah for first time, I found that she was humble and affectionate,  and I believed she was a daughter of God sent to our family.  Praise the Lord!!!
***The Joy of Living with Jesus***Every 3 o’clock at dawn I woke up, prayed,  and read the bible. 
I wrote poems for the Lord, scheduled my daily plans of living with  Jesus, and lived always with happiness and gratefulness  in a shipshape  manner for God. 
It seemed like there was nothing  bothering between me and God. 
Even though I was poor and lived in a room that was -3C and had to wrap  myself up with the blanket, I was happy,  more than ever. 
Once a beloved wife that all the village people had  adored, I was called a truly lucky woman at that time. 
Will I be able to compare the happiness between now and then? 
It was infinite happiness  that no one will understand. Day by day, the peace of mind came from giving all my  burdens to the Lord. Trusting in him gave me happiness that I couldn’t  get from anywhere  else. 
By the grace of heaven, I lived with the  fountain of life which filled me inside.

***Lilian Chung "Into the Glorious Light" Part 4***

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